It's been a while. Sweet things have been developing even more in my heart, and I'm very excited to post this. I pray others can grasp this revelation, because it's literally a life-changer in regard to eating habits. I eat because I AM, and not because I am not. Let me explain...
A few weeks ago, we had an opportunity to spend some time with Bertie Britt and some close AMAZING companions who share our heart about the message of grace. It was fantastic. I feel even more alive and sort of catapulted into experiencing even more rest and freedom. I think I laughed off every calorie of the creamy chicken pasta dishes I ate that weekend. The last morning there, we gathered at the continental breakfast, but Bertie didn't get anything but coffee. When we asked him about it, he made this statement, "There isn't anything there that gave me an emotion toward health." Seems kind of funny, and it was. But something about that spoke to my heart that later produced a revelation in me.
I am literally to the place on this journey where I feel content with myself. I know there are things to see, but if nothing ever changes for me here, I am happy. Sure there are thoughts that creep back up and whisper lies that "I could be better if... I lost weight...wore a smaller size...exercised more...etc." But those sparse thoughts no longer dominate. I've also lived in freedom long enough to realize that if my actions are not directly birthed from who I am, then they are worthless even if my self-efforts produce the desired result. Patience with myself has paid off. It's not like I have been indulging in macaroni and oreos as I wait for "grace" to kick in. I have been holding steady with a slower weight loss, drinking mostly water, choosing more healthful foods most of the time just because I want them. I've continued to walk in the light that I have and rest in this place where my heart lives. I had a conversation with the Lord about "where I stand." I told him that I trust him. I trust his grace to carry me effortlessly. I trust that he will provide the grace to receive his grace. I trust and fully know that it is not about me at all. The only thing I really asked for is an emotion toward health.
One morning a few weeks ago, I looked in the mirror getting ready for work. This is the same mirror that used to detail every imperfection and served as a judgmental guide as I struggled to improve what I could, and feel less for what I could not. This morning, I knew things were different. The image was one of contentment, and it sparked an emotion for health. I felt elated to choose the right foods for me...the real me. It was simple, really. I knew that I would not be changing anything, I would just let his love work in me and rest in what happens. There was a motivation, not for weight loss, not for self improvement, but just for freedom with a desire to feel great. Almost by accident I would go about my day eating whatever I wanted to eat. I began to notice I felt a little funny on the inside if I would eat something that was not so nutritious. Junk felt like it didn't fit me. Used to if I ate something on the "bad" list, I might have an emotion of guilt and condemnation. Those negative emotions have been replaced with and emotion of righteousness. If I eat something that does not promote health, my heart now tells me, "That food is not who I am." It's like I'm starving for "righteous" foods. In the past I might choose a healthful choice over a junk food, but there was still an element of deprivation. "I can't have that food because it's bad for me and I need to lose weight."---I chose foods because I thought I was less. But now the opposite seems true. I know I can have whatever I want, but when I eat something not so nutritious, I almost feel like I'm depriving myself of good foods...righteous foods. This is such a big change! The real me that I identify with more and more everyday is hungry for vegetables and fruits, whole grains, lean meats, and rivers of water. I have an emotion for health, not to improve myself, but because it's who I am. More and more I eat because I AM! ..and not because I am not.
Nutritional Nugget
I don't know much about Dr. Oz. I don't know much at all about the research regarding the notes I took from his show. But maybe it's a worth a try. I happened to catch a small segment of a show he was discussing herbs that supposedly helps blast the belly.
Do you have a problem with bloating? Try caraway seeds...a handful every meal.
Do you stress eat? Try Relora for relaxation. 250mL twice a day.
7Keto helps increase metabolism.
Forskolin helps burn belly fat.
Saffron extract is an appetite suppressant. This might help with late night cravings.
All of these problems help keep that belly fat close to our heart. Dr. Oz says figure out what your biggest problem is and then try a supplement. He does not recommend binging on pills from the health food store. I haven't tried any of these. I'm still thinking about it. However, I have been taking a multivitamin that doesn't have any caffeine in it. I can tell that I do have more stamina during the day after I take it.
