Day 1 Food For Thought: Confession Stands

A good friend of mine posted her weight on facebook. Lots of thoughts came to mind when I saw the pounds which were almost a whole other person above what I weigh. If I weighed that number of pounds, I would be feeling quite differently about the weight, but she was very proud of herself. Her boldness taught me some very important lessons. I realized that weight, as with everything else in life, is about perspective. It is not about right and wrong. It is about freedom. It is not about the pounds, it is about our heart in the matter. The truth is that I know she will continue to lose weight effortlessly to reach her goal because she is free. She has the proper attitude about herself and her weight loss. Condemnation and guilt has nothing on her and therefore she can rest in her freedom and contentment with herself. She is free from the bondage of her weight evidenced by her boldness to declare it to her 800 friends on facebook. I am not that free yet.

I have more self condemnation about my weight than anything else in my life. Condemnation forms the chains that bind me. I will never be free from food as long as I feel badly about myself in this area. I believe that is why James 5:16 says to “confess your sins to one another.” I believe that being open about our issues opens the door in our hearts to become free. We build walls in our hearts to protect ourselves. I am embarrassed that I should know better and have helped a number of people to become free when I struggle with the issue myself. There are fears in my heart associated with my weight. Some examples...”I'm afraid of people's opinion and rejection of me.” “I'm afraid my students and patients won't take me seriously if I am not a good role model.” “I am afraid I will be embarrassed.” “I think being overweight makes me less.” The wall I build to protect myself from exposing my issue is the same wall that will not allow Love to come in and clean it out. Perfect love casts out all fears, but it can't come in if I have built a wall and won't open the door. Confession is a tool we can use to open up doors in our walls. It has helped me already and it's only been the first day.

Honestly, I am not free in my heart enough to post my weight, but Father did give me a great excuse. I think that I will post the pounds I lose, but not my current weight because it makes it less likely to get into a comparison attitude. It is not wise or beneficial to compare ourselves. Remember it's all about perspective anyway. If I post an actual number, it makes it easier to justify or belittle ourselves and misunderstand my heart. If I do not post my weight, it seems to become more applicable in hearts. Someone who is anorexic might have the same struggles I do with bondage to food, but the numbers on the scales would make us seem very different and perhaps judge or reject each other even if just slightly. The point is to be free in our hearts, not to rank ourselves. Classifying the severity of our issues usually only compounds the problems and creates more hurdles for us to jump over.

Ok, Ok here goes...For the sake of practicing my freedom, I will post my weight. ###. Oh my goodness! That felt scary to type it out and see it in print! ...Well of course I erased it! But it still did my heart some good. :)

Wins for the day...
I have decided to post the small, positive changes I make each day. I was going to also list the ways to improve but Father/Personal Trainer instructed me not to. It seems he knows me better than I know myself! He told me that if I (because of my personality) focus on the areas for improvement, it will strengthen my weaknesses. He said I will also become too comfortable with my stuff as if I almost brag about my issues which will only hinder this journey. Identifying failures will put myself under laws when there is no law. If I believe I am under a law then there a laws to be broken. Failures = broken laws = condemnation = strengthening my sin = more bondage, less freedom. I will focus on my wins to stay in his perspective of me.

So for example, instead of listing a failure that I ate Mom's chocolate oatmeal cookies, I will list a win:
1.I only ate one and a half of Mom's fresh, hot-off-the-stove, homemade chocolate oatmeal cookies. Eating a cookie is not a “sin.” But if I view it as one, and I make myself avoid things because of expectations in my mind, I see it only as an area where I am deprived. That deprivation spirit makes me do the very thing I don't want to do. But it's a win because the day before I would have eaten them until I was stuffed. Yay for a win!
2. I put mayo on my grilled chicken sandwich for lunch, but then realized I didn't need or even want that extra 100 calories so I scraped off as much as I could. It was still very good and had a little bit of the mayo flavor without all the extra calories.
3.My belly growled....almost twice.
4.I did not eat as much as normal simply because I honestly did not want it. The day before, I would have eaten it just because it was food.
5.I refused a chocolate chip cookie and I did want it, but not bad enough for an extra 350-400 calories. I also did not feel deprived. WIN! WIN!
6.I calculated my weight loss plan. I figured out how many calories I need to lose a steady and slow weight loss as well as how much carbs, protein and fat I need without excess. Which leads me to my tip of the day...

Nutritional Nugget...
You can determine how many calories you need to lose or gain weight effectively and safely. There is actually more to it than this, but just for easy sake, take the amount of pounds you want to weigh and multiply that by 10. This will be your amount of calories in a day. I almost even hate to post that because it is so not that easy, but it can give you an idea. For example, if you desire to weigh 150 pounds, then you multiply that by 10 to get 1500 calories. This doesn't work so well if you have an enormous amount of weight to lose as in 100 pounds or so. Knowing the calories is important because if can help you to make more informed choices. Don't put yourself in a law though. My goodness, if you feel a negative emotion because you think you can't eat that food by all means EAT IT! The deprivation factor is worse than the few extra calories it will have. Just start again the next meal.

A good friend of mine who is very health and weight conscious ate her favorite sandwich everyday in the deli where she worked. This is a girl who only needed about 1500 calories. She found out one day that her favorite sandwich had almost 1,000 calories in it. With chips and a drink, it was well over what she needed. She did not feel deprived, but just knowing that helped her to realize her favorite sandwich was not worth it to her.

If you would like me to calculate your needs for you, shoot me a message on facebook or send me an e-mail. ablaylock@tntech.edu Include your height, current weight (be honest!), your age, and your goal weight. I promise your numbers are safe with me! :)