I have experienced some heart change. It still feels a bit rocky, like I could slip back into my old nature so I'm careful with myself. I'm consciously making an effort to remind myself that I am worth it. I am paying more attention to my feelings when I am eating and when I am not. I say “No” because I want to, not because I have to. I desire weight loss above food. Being thin doesn't make me better. I am who I am in Christ. I am no longer enslaved to food. I am still walking it out, but I am walking. I''m making better choices physically and mentally and emotionally. I am feeding my body when it is hungry. I'm feeding “bread of life” to my soul when I feel hungry in my soul instead of trying to fill those needs with food. It takes a little bit of awareness to know which “food” I need at the moment. Honestly though, I am discovering that soul food is more satisfying.
I have made better eating choices, but still have more changes I want to make. I can tell that I feel better physically, but I am not feeling like I how I know I want to feel because I haven't made all the practical changes I know it will take to reach it. I refuse to put myself under pressure to behave in even a positive way without first persuading my heart. I'm not going to put myself under a law. I will rest in grace. I'm not going to play tug of war between my will and my heart. Heart will win. We always come back to life at the level of our heart. So I will just enjoy me and be content with me at this very point. I will keep walking and taking my baby steps. Slow and steady wins the race and enjoys the journey a lot more. I don't want to be so focused on the destination that I miss the beauty of this journey. This week, I may not have produced any physical results, but I've been in bondage so long, I'm just enjoying feeling free. If I start to sink back into my old habits, and I remind myself, “I'm worth it, but that old way is not.”
We had Wayne's grandma's 80th birthday party potluck lunch. I only had coffee for breakfast as well as 45 minutes of sleep the night before. I tried a bit of everything, but I recognized that the lack of energy was because I needed sleep and not because my body wanted food. I ate more of the things I loved best. I only had two bites of the awesome cake. I ate strawberry shortcake, but more strawberries than cake. I did drink quite a bit of sweet tea. Mini crab cakes and steamed veggies for supper. Mmmmmmm! I stopped when I got full which meant I only ate 180 calories worth of crab cakes. They were so yummy. I felt good and not stuffed. I wanted to make cookies all day, but not bad enough to feel what I feel like after I eat cookies. Know what I mean? But we had guests and Wayne made them cookies. I ate two. Afteral, I didn't want to be a fuddy! Yeah, yeah.... Day three was not exactly a weight-reduction eating plan day, but it wasstill better choices. I did not feel deprived. I felt satisfied.
Today's Wins:
1.I waited to eat meals until my belly growled.
2.I stopped when I was full.
3.I did not clean my plate.
4.I drank more water.
5.I felt free. Free to eat and free to not eat. That is the biggest win. So much in fact, that I truly know physical weight loss is not my goal. Walking in freedom is. Physical weight loss is the extra little goody and a great benefit to laying down the weight in my heart.
Nutritional Nugget:
Protein. It's one of those things we really need. It does a lot more than just make up our body. It has functions in immunity, hormones, etc. We need it, but not as much as most people think. Protein should only be about 10-35% of the calories you need daily. I will calculate your protein needs if you send me a message (See “Day 1” post.) Protein is found in every food group except fats and fruit. A person who weighs 200 pounds only needs 40 grams or so of protein. One ounce of meat has 7 grams of protein. Therefore, a six-ounce steak will exceed the need providing 42 grams of protein. That doesn't even count the milk, grains and veggies of the day. Excessive protein can be harmful. It's all about balance.
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