I started a new job Wednesday. I knew that the first morning on my job would be hectic because the drive is over an hour, and I wanted to make sure I wouldn't be late. So I picked up a quick breakfast for the boys. The all-nutritious donuts. (Yep. On my way to consult as a dietitian and I gave my boys a box of donuts before I left.) Well, I got me a donut too, and I put it in the passenger seat. There was a hint of, "I shouldn't be doing this," but I let that thought go as quickly as it came. As I drank my coffee, I had a nice little morning ponder on that scenic drive. My thoughts went something like this:
I reflected a minute about my eating habits the past couple days. Yeah, yeah I'm not putting myself under law any more. That is to say, no more diets for me to break and pull me back down. But oh my goodness, I was just not even sure what I have eaten that last two days. I was sure it wasn't exactly promoting my weight loss. Nevertheless, I know this new revelation of truly living in rest and contentment is truth, and I will rest in that truth fat or skinny. Even if it never "WORKS" for me, it is still truth. The thought crossed my mind too that if I'm not "trying" then what in the world am I going to blog about? (ha ha ha!) Oh well. I'm not "doing" any more. Freedom and rest is what it's all about. I'm not going back there. I will only work to stay in rest. (Labor into rest.) To me that means that when those negative thoughts or old thoughts come back to distract me, I will tell them where to go and how to get there. I will not allow them to influence me. Only God's thoughts toward me are allowed to influence me. I did sort of ask Father to give me something to blog about, but I wasn't really dwelling on it. I'm serious that I'm giving up all expectations of myself. If that means that my life begins to closely resemble a knot on a log, then so be it.
Well, I wasn't trying to be spiritual or anything. I mean I was just jamming to Dave Matthews, but my goodness I became very aware of Father's presence. (I know he's a big fan of Dave too. Ha Ha Ha. Seriously!) I began to feel his love wrapping around me and had this knowing about how he loves me. He began to show me the plans he has for Wayne and me, and I was absorbed in the honor and excitement it is to be able to do those things. I began to imagine what our life will be like and notice all that he is doing with us now that is leading to that. I was so excited and full of life. Nothing else mattered, you know? All this stuff just sort of came to me. I wasn't trying to have a "devotional" or whatever. I had not designated this morning commute as Faith-Build Up Exercises or Forced Fatherly Fun or anything. I was just enjoying the morning drive. Time flew by. Before I knew it, I was thirty miles down the road. I looked over and saw that donut, and I just begin to tear up and get emotional. This is really hard to describe, because it seems so silly to me. I didn't even want it. I realized in that moment that I had done nothing. Nothing. There was no prep work for me to be open to the Spirit or anything. It just came. This was the biggest breakthrough ever and it came effortlessly. In the past, even if I didn't eat the donut, I would be aware of its presence, you know what I mean? It was like I had food on my brain all the time. Being a dietitian only makes it worse because now I get paid to think about food. But I fully experienced what I know in my heart to be true. Basking in HIS presence, allowing HIM to love me the way he created me to be loved, and thinking only on those things from his point of view made me more God-conscious than food-conscious. Until that moment of true freedom, I didn't really realize how in bondage I was to food and to flab. I was set free. I am set free. I have been and all that, but now I really know it. I experienced it. All I could think of the rest of the way was how truly good he really, really is. "Gooder" than I even thought. I had to almost snap out of it before I got to work because I was so emotional I didn't want to have my mascara run before my first day on the job.
Well, this is the rest of the story. I went to work, and I did a good job. My love tank was overflowing, and they picked up on it. Immediate favor with my new coworkers. They even told me that they feel like they've known me forever, and I'm a part of them. WOW! How does that happen? They fed me a really great lunch. I remember it being yummy. I'm not sure why I stopped eating. All I know is that I threw my plate away with food left all over it. Um....even if I had done that in the past, I would have been thinking about the food that was left to eat. I never even thought about eating the rest of the day until my belly growled. Then I was like, "I'm hungry?" And then I would eat. I'm telling you. EFFORTLESS. And this freedom taste so good. I'm getting emotional even right now. It's funny how we don't know how in bondage we are until we step into freedom. The important thing is that I didn't work this up, it just came. All I had to do is get out of the way and let it come. I think me wanting something so badly....weight loss....almost controlled the solution from coming. I've heard of that before. I think it was Bertie who said he has known lots of ladies who want a child so much but are unable to have one. They finally adopt and get what they want. They quit "trying" then all of the sudden they are pregnant. I've known that to happen before too....but why? Because they finally find themselves content, happy, and in a place of rest. Out of that place, God can literally birth something (somebody) new.
I'm thankful. So very, very thankful. Now that I've tasted this freedom, I know I can't ever go back. I think what it will take for me to keep from falling back is that when those distracting thoughts creep up, I just renew my mind to the higher ground....Just rest. I also think it is awesome that in this freedom experience I also now have a renewed passion of things I can write about. It's like an extra little goody answer to prayer. He's an all your cake, with two scoops of ice cream, and eat it too kind of Daddy!
Nutritional Nugget:
My lunch at my new job was very yummy. We had turnip greens. That is something I remember calling "Pa's mud" when I was little. I don't know why except I knew they were gross. Over the years, I developed a big liking to them that I probably can credit to taste-bud desensitization. During lunch, I still had in the back of my mind that turnip greens were clearly the most nutritious thing on my plate. I did eat all of them. Greens are actually very nutritious. Here's the low down on dark green and leafies.
Research suggests that the nutrients found in dark green vegetables may prevent certain types of cancers and promote heart health. Green and leafies are likely the most nutritious of any food calorie for calorie. I know that any time there was a question on a nutrition exam that said, "Which of the following is highest in ____." The answer was always the green vegetable.
Perhaps the star nutrient for green and leafies is Vitamin K. Vitamin K is a fantastic little vitamin and seems to be popping up with new great traits for it. Vitamin K is known for regulating blood clotting. In fact, it is so good that if someone who gets a little too much blood thinner or someone on blood thinner cuts themselves and can't stop bleeding, the Doc will give them a shot of Vitamin K in the E.R. We actually have to teach people to eat a consistent diet of vitamin K when they are on blood thinners so they don't undo the effects of the medication. Vitamin K is also helps protect bones from osteoporosis. May help prevent and possibly even reduce atherosclerosis by reducing calcium in arterial plaques. May be a key regulator of inflammation, and may help protect us from inflammatory diseases including arthitis. And I've even read that it may help prevent diabetes. Even if vitamin K doesn't prevent diabetes, I know that green and leafies are a great food for diabetics, and anyone for that matter, because of the nutrient dense, low calorie, high fiber. They are also low on the glycemic index for those peeps concerned with that.
Don't feel guilty for adding a little fatty flavor to the greens. Many of the nutrients in green and leafies are absorbed better with fat. So toss that salad with a good dressing or saute the spinach in a little olive oil. Yummy up those turnip greens! It is recommended that we get about 3 cups of dark green vegetables per week, or about ½ a cup every day. That's not too hard to do.
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