Detox

 There's a lot of health gurus out there who aren't dietitians but have information about weight loss. Everybody's got the skinny on obesity.  I think my most favorite thing about being a dietitian is how we apply evidenced-based research to medical diagnoses.  There's a whole heap of research about the woes of being overweight. The complications that can come with obesity can definitely light the fire of health under even the most obstinate.  Staggering numbers make it pretty clear weight loss is important.  But do you know the #1 recommendation for obese people who smoke?  Yep. To quit smoking.  Smoking is even worse than obesity on health.  Somebody may need to lose 250 pounds, but I'm trained to encourage smoking cessation.  It's too hard for most people to quit smoking AND lose weight all in one lump.  It is more practical to quit smoking and just try to maintain weight.

I've never been addicted to a substance.  I don't pretend to know how difficult it would be start a journey to health carrying around an unhealthy physical desire.  I can't imagine.  All I know is what I've read and what people have told me from their own experiences.  Everybody starts somewhere.   I've been thinking a lot about where I started. Even though I've not had to give up a physical substance, I've pretty much been in detox of my mind for the last few years.

My issues probably don't match the issues of others, but they have still been complications to my journey.  They are shackles in my mind that have been keeping me from my ultimate goal....weight loss.  So I've been in my own personal detox. I've been dropping negativity.  I've been forgiving people.  I've been having an attitude of gratitude.  I've been walking more in freedom and letting go of  rules, laws, and expectations I place on myself.  I'm removing the veil from my mind so that I can see more clearly.  I'm emptying my pockets of information to make room for revelation.  You wouldn't believe all the beliefs I've hoarded just because somebody once told me it was so.  phooey.   It always feels good to clean out a closet.  I've been detoxing my beliefs about pretty much everything.  That's a pretty hefty undertaking all the while still beating myself up for not losing weight.  So now it's time to detox THAT expectation as well.  I've been hard on myself.  I'm finally giving myself permission to be happy right where I am.  I've realized I have had such a big win.  Similar to quitting smoking AND losing weight at the same time, it has been difficult to "diet" and detox my mind too.  I've stopped gaining weight, but I've lost some too.  I've only lost a little weight, but I'm happy.  I'm feeling good.  Fifty pounds may not be gone tomorrow, but I'm confident I WILL wake up someday and be fifty pounds down. 

This journey has always been about something more than just losing physical fat, but now it finally FEELS okay to admit that. I'm letting myself off the hook.  I'm not minimizing my wins any more.  It was a success when I quit gaining.  It's a success that I've lost a little weight.  But the biggest win of all is just feeling good about feeling good!  Why did we ever feel guilty for being content with ourselves.  I'm convinced contentment is the perfect environment where freedom can thrive.  Freedom from ourselves.  Freedom from our habits.  Freedom from food.  

Today's Success

Today my regular routine pretty much got thrown out the window.   It was a tough day to choose health.

I didn't sleep well last night. 
I ate sausage biscuits and drank some orange juice.
I snacked around a lot on salty peanut and M&M-laden trail mix.
I ate chips.
I ate two pieces of pizza.
I ate a small spinach salad, but it had thick homemade ranch on it.
I drank a Pepsi.
I drank a really sugary hot chocolate.

I felt like crap.

So what in the world could be my success on my feel good plan?


Because I knew I was too full, I declined the ice cream cake.  SUCCESS!

When I got to the end of my day and felt really terrible, I asked myself, "What would make me feel good?" I decided my only hope was to go for a walk and drink lots of water.  I got the boys down for bed and decided to walk for ten minutes only in the driveway.  It was a nice night.  The more I walked, the better I felt.  I ended up forgetting about the time because I was enjoying myself so much and I walked for two miles.  SUCCESS!

As I walked, I got a lot of positive thinking done.  SUCCESS!

I came back in and did something I REALLY enjoy.  SUCCESS!

Boy, do I feel good!

These little successes probably haven't made me lose weight today directly, but the better I feel, the more likely I'll choose to feel good tomorrow too.  I'm going to go to bed happy tonight.  It's worth the weight to feel happy.

Feeling good = Happiness.
Happiness = Success.
Successes = Weight loss.

This math works.   Just got to focus on the feeling good part to get that ball rolling!

Keeping the Vacation Weight At Bay

Just got back from vacationing at the Gulf of Mexico.  It was nice. I took a small goal with me.  I just wanted to enjoy my vacation and maintain my weight.

I definitely took advantage of the time to unwind.  I really tried to adhere to my feel good plan while I was there. I got caught up on my sleep.  I sneaked in some good exercise most days. I drank a little wine.  I ate what I wanted.  I felt good while I was there, and I came home rested.

But it was vacation...Isn't that the time to let it all go indulge myself?  Not on my feel good plan. We had healthful things I like to eat that were easy to grab when I was hungry.  We kept fruit in the refrigerator, and I had some of my favorite Greek yogurt.  If I really wanted a brownie and then another brownie, then I ate it.  I tried to listen to my body and my desires. I asked myself, "What will make me feel good?"  Then I chose to do it.  It had nothing to do with "trying" to lose weight.  I just wanted to feel good.  I was on vacation!

It made me feel good to go for a walk.  It made me feel good to take a nap when I felt grumpy from the lack of sleep.  It made me feel good to eat lighter breakfast and lunch so I could feel good getting whatever I wanted for supper.  It made me feel good to recline with my feet in the sand, but when I felt like moving, it felt good to jump in the water.

There was one time we stopped for chocolate chip cookies. Fresh, warm, gooey chocolate chip cookies.  They were good!  But in a moment, I was "worried" about my weight.  I got a little frustrated with myself because I wanted those cookies.  There was an inkling of "bad girl!"  But then I decided, it would be okay to have one.  Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!   But I only had one. There were more cookies left in the bag to take with us on our journey.  They were in the middle console. Within my reach. I really wanted another one.  I tried to talk myself out of my desire.  They whispered to me. I couldn't quit thinking about them. I began to get mad at myself again for wanting one.  Miles past.  Such a burden.  Be quiet!  I did NOT want to give in.  It would be silly to throw them out.  Bad cookies!!!!!!  So I finally came to my senses.  Obviously I was making it a law.  Gosh, if I'm going to feel that way about it, then I might as well eat it!  (The feel good plan.)  So I gave myself permission to enjoy another one.  Expectations gone.  Desire fulfilled.   I tore a bite off and put in my mouth, but realized it wasn't as good as I thought it was going to be.  It wasn't as good as I remembered when "I thought I couldn't have it."  When I realized deep down I didn't wanted after all, I didn't eat another bite.  I closed the bag.  You know those cookies were quiet for the rest of the trip! 

I LOVE that feeling when I'm so hungry, but then replenish with just enough instead of over stuffing myself.  It reminds me of walking around in wet clothes from a water park then changing into dry just before the drive home.  "ahhhhhhh... It was fun, but this feels better."  I know my eyes are bigger than my stomach so it helps to know that I need between 300 and 500 calories each meal to feel satisfied without feeling stuffed.  That amount of calories makes me feel good---keeps me feeling good.   It's also fun to be hungry the same time the boys were hungry. It makes me feel like I'm on their level.  I even ordered some off the kid's menu.  That was fun too!

I have to admit, it took me a looooooooooooong time to get here, but I'm here. I believe that was all part of the plan...and it feels good.

...Oh I forgot to mention, not only had I maintained my weight, but I had lost a little too.  A Feel Good Plan works for me!  

The Feel Good Plan

Do you know the best diet to follow?  The one that works!  Adhering to most diets will make you lose the weight you want, but there can be trouble. Usually one gains back even more weight than before. I can surely testify that.  I've tried a bunch of diets in my past.   I've lost weight, but then regained.  (I wonder what I would weigh had I never tried to lose?)  It got a little more harry after I began to study nutrition.  Knowing some science made it difficult for me to follow any sort of fad diet, but I was frustrated with my weight and desperately desired for it to come off fast.

I've been hard on myself for being an overweight dietitian.  Condemnation has frequent flyer miles on my brain waves.  I've always known that freedom in my mind would be freedom in my body.  It's been such a slow processes that I often fell back into a mind-trap because "I'm such a bad example...  I'm not going quick enough.... not doing good enough, etc. etc. etc. blah. blah. blah."  I've also struggled about mixing physiological science with psychology and spirituality.  I've placed all sorts of rules on myself and boxed in ideas.  I've been unsure with where to put the boundaries.


Obesity is such a complex disease.  There are multiple factors to sort through.  If it was as easy as just following some diet and eating less, wouldn't we all be skinny?  It's time to admit that it's more about the human part of us than just diet and exercise.

There are thousands of diets out there that work.  We are sold on them easily because we don't think we are enough by ourselves.  We will buy anything we think could improve us.   Do you know who is the best weight-loss practitioner out there for you?  You are!  We can certainly find helpful tips, strong evidence-based research, and be influenced by people who help guide us on our plan.  But this diagnosis is so complex and has to be so individualized, that somebody can't just claim a certain diet will work for everyone just because it worked for one or for few.   

I finally know what to do with my metaphorical diet boxes....throw them in  the dump, burn them, use them for target practice.  I've finally come up with a plan that works for me.  It's a plan where I can mix science with the things I think about and who I've discovered I am.  I feel safe to remove the walls, be who I am, and come up with a plan that makes the complexity of my issues seem simple.  I'm calling it, "The Feel Good Plan." (It even makes me smile to call it that.)

Since I've truly adopted the Feel Good Plan, things are definitely different.  Sure I'd like to wake up fifty pounds lighter tomorrow, but even more than that.  I just want to feel good.  Spotting the successes everyday are little wins that keep my heart merry, my spirits high, and keep me high on the mojo.   How do I now measure success?  ...Does it make me feel good?  Then it's successful.

There already has been some weight loss, but everyday on the plan I realize more how it's more about the feeling than the goal.  It's taken me a long time to get here, but I'm excited about it.  You know what?  It just feels good to be excited about something. I've had to accept myself and get rid of some hindering beliefs.  I've found some tips and guidelines that meet me where I am.  I've experimented and figured out some things that work for me.  I've realized I wasn't made to fit into a box.  Thank God for science to serve as a guide for health.  Thank God for a mind to make choices and experience this life.  Thank God for that inner voice that drives me on my journey.  It's hard to know where to put the boundaries when it's all dumped into one person and the world tells us we're a formula.   Thank God for an individualized plan that drives me to my destination.  Can it be simple enough just to enjoy the ride?  Sometimes it's difficult to admit it can be easy when it's been so hard before.

Feeling good IS the plan!  

It's Your Move

I recently had the fabulous opportunity to hang out with some cool cats at a nutrition conference.   I really like dietitians. One of the things I noticed about the skinnies is how unashamed they are about exercise.  I know that sounds silly, but it really is like a confident air about them when they strap on their sneakers with their dress clothes just to try to boost the numbers on their step counter.

I read a study that people who think weight loss is about how much they exercise tend to be overweight.  The real strength of  exercise is it's ability to prevent weight gain unless of course it is ALOT of exercise.  It's diet that really cuts the fat.  But exercise has benefits all to itself.  Even just two minutes of intentional exercise is a success.

My FAVORITE part about exercise is how studies actually show that exercise divided over the course of the day is more beneficial than all at once.  It may burn the same amount of calories, but we busy-bo-peeps are just more likely to squeeze in 10 minutes of moving multiple times a day than we are to find  a longer amount to donate to exercise.  I know for me, I won't get as sweaty if my exercise routine  is only ten minutes so it helps to work it in even at work. 

But how silly is that?  I do NOT like attention.  I get afraid somebody might see me.  Who cares?  The value of exercise is worth way more than what I THINK somebody is thinking.  I may look silly pumping it down the sidewalk, but it makes me feel good.

I'm settled...the amount of exercise I do won't make me lose weight, but it's benefits remind me that I'd rather feel good for a lifetime than taste something good for a moment.  I've decided there are some ways I can add exercise to my day.  I've released any expectations of myself and breaking the box I've built around exercise.  If I have an extra two minutes, then I can move for two minutes.  If there is a line to the bathroom, I think I'll just walk to another one instead of waiting.  Ten minutes is the recommended amount at one time, but two minutes is better than zero.  I have a goal to get three ten-minute sessions a day, but if I only get one go around the sidewalk, then that's a success too. There are no rules but just a life to live...a life to enjoy. 

What's your move?

Lay It Down

I've heard stories about Appalachian trail hikers.  People say that along the route, camping gear,  etc. can be found along the trail.  It started out as a good idea, but the longer people hiked, the more the cost of those items didn't matter.  They were just too heavy for their journey.

Do you ever feel like that?  Like the things you thought were important were just too heavy to carry on? We place value on things that weigh us down even if we see it as negative.  What we focus on is what we carry.  Sometimes it gets to a point where you just have to leave them be and go on.  When the load becomes lighter, the hike has to become more enjoyable. In my life, I often find I didn't know I was carrying something heavy until it was gone.  ahhhhhh...freedom.   I'm always thankful for the relief AND I'm thankful for the strength that carried me until I became ready to let go.  I love a quote I read recently, "We are not defined by what we have, but by what we let go."  Not sure if that quote completely illustrates my point, but I still love it.  I suppose no matter what we cling to, there is freedom in the release. 

I was thinking of people I've known whose physical weight becomes an emotion weight as well.  Sometimes our image is a reflection of how we feel about ourselves on the inside. Maybe it's just some odd belief.   It could even be a negative perspective about the weight loss journey itself.  Or perhaps it's using food to cope with some other heavy issues.  The extra "stuff" we pack may even have seemed like a good idea at first or even something we thought we "needed."  No matter what the reason, the weight is still heavy.

I'm convinced that when we feel good on the inside,  it makes it easier to feel good on the outside. Laying things down is a nice taste of freedom that makes us desire to keep on walking.  

What might you toss from your backpack that could lighten the load?  What are some heavy things you've already traded for freedom on your journey?

It always feels better to lay it down.

Health Nut

I saw a picture of a friend's beautiful daughter on Facebook.  I ran into my friend and verbally complemented the picture.  This started a conversation that really encouraged me.  I didn't remember her daughter being obese, but apparently she was.  One day the daughter decided she didn't want to be fat any more and began making changes in her behavior to reach her goal.  When I asked how she lost her weight, her mom said, "She's a health nut."

The beautiful girl habitually makes healthful choices.  She is somewhat "picky" with her food.  She won't even eat a hamburger.  Say wha?

Wow that sounds like a bunch of rules to be broken.  Isn't she missing out?  Um...Nope.   She isn't because   she doesn't FEEL like she is.  The truth is her tastes have changed.  She used to love a burger, but just doesn't like the flavor any more.  It's defiantly worth it to her to feel better instead of eat something she would rather not have. This is what happens when a goal turns into desire!

Isn't it funny how desire and perspective fuel us on our journey?  In what ways can we change our perspective to have different results?

Keeping Calories in the Black

Eating is part physiology and part psychology .  Sometimes we eat more than we think we do, and sometimes we think we eat less than we do.  Our perception can really play tricks on us.   Our eyes are bigger than our stomachs.  Our habits are mindless at times.  Before we know it, we eat 100 calories of honey roasted peanuts, 150-calorie beverage, “just a couple of bites” of somebody’s double fudge brownies with icing  then be “STARVING” for supper and think all we had for lunch was a salad.   It’s easy to overeat when we are not paying attention. 

One of my favorite girls EVER had a major misconception of her eating habits.  She was morbidly obese, had had three heart attacks.  THREE!   The girl was a nutritional train wreck, but she was my buddy.  At first she told me she never ate anything except one meal a day that consisted of a small portion of grilled chicken and some steamed vegetables.  Later she gave me a special gift…. A favorite quote:     “It’s nothin’ for me to eat a box of Little Debbies in one sittin'.” She told me.    

Calories can really sneak up on us if we don’t pay attention to what we are doing.   One thing that really helps to keep an eye on the ol’ eating plan is to keep a food diary of everything we taste, lick, chew, etc.   It’s not a rule.  It’s not a law.  It’s not a punishment.  It’s a tool.  It’s a tool to help us stay on track.  I don’t know about you, but when I’m hiking down an unfamiliar path, the markers nailed to the trees bring comfort as they remind me I’m still where I’m want to be.  Ahhhh….restful instead of stressful! 

I made a ledger sort of like a check book.  I calculated the calories I need to promote a gradual and safe weight loss.  I need 1200 calories to stay on my chosen path.  The food diary doesn’t have to be anything fancy.  It could just be a list of foods and the calories.  The important thing is that you try to eat close to the calories you need everyday.    Because I'm sort of a food nerd, I note the time, amount of the food item, calories, protein, fiber, carbs, and then the calorie balance from 1200 calories.

Here is an example of a day and how I analyzed it so I could make changes to my eating that would make life "easier" on my path the next day:

1200 calories minus:

coffee with chocolate milk  =  1005 calories to go….

½ cup pintos and a salad with light raspberry vinaigrette. = 585 calories to go…

coffee with light cream = 510 calories to go…

1 container of raisin bran with skim milk and 6 oz coffee = 307 calories to go…         
AND IT’S STILL NOT SUPPER TIME YET!!!!!!

What’s a girl to do?  At first reminiscence, I would think I haven’t eaten much in this day.  The truth is, I spent 175 calories just on the sissy in my coffee.  The “light” salad dressing still had 100 calories in one pack.  The cheese, ham, and egg I added to my salad really packed on the calories. 

How did I end this caloric day in the black?  With a plan!  I put in a request for some steamed veggies to add to Leftovers Night.   I ate a plate full of vegetables and then the carrots and beef from the beef stew.   I went to bed a decent time.  Sometimes at night I feel hungry again when my body demands energy when all I need is sleep.

Tomorrow is a new day, a new breakfast, and a new ledger with plenty of calories in my account to keep me in the black. 

Dietary Team Wins

I'm so proud of my girls!  Some that work in the dietary department with me have happened on a weight loss journey of their own losing as much as fifty pounds!  As if this isn't impressive enough, they have been so wise on their journey.  When we get too "greedy" with the amount of weight we want to lose quickly, wisdom from the team says, "Down Two Pounds."   We are reminded that slow and steady wins the weight loss race.  Before we know it, fifty pounds are permanently and safely gone.   They have a scale in the office that we weigh on.  It makes it more fun to walk out this journey  with  buddies.  It's tough stuff working dietary.  They not only have to be culinary and sanitation experts,  but they have to be quick and accurate with nutrition and diets.  It makes my heart merry to see them apply their nutritional knowledge in their own lives.  Well done, Ladies!  Thanks for being an example to us all!

Have Your Cake and Eat It Too

 I visited my child's kindergarten class along with several other parents and overheard a conversation between two thin ladies about weight loss.  One had recently lost a bunch of weight.  Although she looked great and felt better, she fussed about how boring eating healthfully was for her.  The other mom confessed she had gained ten pounds because motherhood makes her feel like she deserves snack cakes everyday and had no plans of going back to her former way of eating.  They laughed as they admitted how life tastes better with junk food.

I actually enjoyed their conversation, but it really made me think.  There is no reason why people cannot enjoy food and health at the same time.  There are plenty of examples of friends I know who eat heavenly, feel great, and look amazing.  Dieting is not about deprivation.  It can't be.   I have enjoyed exploring different foods and recipes to pack my meals with nutrition. Weight loss becomes effortless and permanent when it is enjoyable.   I'm excited to learn more, and try knew foods.  It's like a puzzle to see how I can fit tasty foods from each food groups in one day.  Health does not have to be boring.  Some of the best recipes I've had were packed full of nutrition.  With just a little ingenuity, taste and health can come together to make weight loss seem effortless.

I’ve been experimenting! 

Some time ago I posted a REAL chocolate gravy recipe and said, “Because every food should fit.” Every food CAN fit and I will always believe that. But some things only work themselves into the meal plan every once in a while. What is totally awesome is adding nutrition to tasty foods so they can fit more often. Sure the sugar-free alternative may taste a little differently, but this is a way you can have your cake and eat more of it more often.   

It started as a desire to create some recipes using a bulking fiber. I bought some glucomannon powder at the health-food store. ½ teaspoon has 2 grams of fiber, but this stuff GROWS! ½ teaspoon turned 1 cup of thin liquid into a saucy pudding consistency. Whoa!  Fiber promotes regularity, weight loss, increases blood sugar control, AND lowers cholesterol. Holla!   I had read about Glucomannon, but when I tried it in a suggested recipe, I felt like I was eating Vaseline. Who wants health to taste like torture? “Not I” said the dietitian. I decided to do a little experimenting. 
 

I made some chocolate gravy replacing ¼ cup flour with ½ teaspoon of glucommanon which now made the recipe gluten free. I replaced half the sugar with Stevia so the calories of the recipe were cut in more than half. In one version, I used coconut milk instead of regular skim milk just to see what it would do. I could taste the difference, but all in all it was a good. The version with coconut milk was rich and dense like it would be a wonderful replacement for chocolate sauce in a dessert. I haven’t tried it with 100% stevia instead of sugar, but I want to.  I've got to adjust the family taste buds gradually so they accept the new flavors. 
 

Altering The Recipe…

The regular recipe: 1 cup sugar. ¼ cups flour. 3 tablespoons cocoa. 2 cups milk. Bring to a boil, then remove from heat and serve. Six servings at 185 calories per serving.

Replacing the flour with ½ teaspoon of glucomannon and half of the sugar with Stevia. Six servings at 105 calories and 24 grams of carbohydrate.

Replacing the milk with coconut milk decreased the carbohydrates even more to 20 gram per servings.

Replacing the sugar and adding the fiber and fat from coconut milk will slow digestion helping to regulate blood sugar and preventing that quick rise and fall of glucose/insulin.

The Healthy Perspective

I was slicing some wonderful leftover pork roast my mom sent home with us and plating fresh garden vegetables when a feeling of gratitude swallowed me whole. So thankful for food, nourishment, and what family dinners represent! 

 

Many times I have placed all the social aspects of food in a negative light. Everybody knows there is more to eating than just nutrition. Food was often the annoying guest we have to invite to the party. It became a hurdle. Just something else I have to struggle through to reach my goal. Just another opportunity to mess up. “Let’s just take it one meal at a time.” I begrudgingly said as if it was some necessary evil.

Just as with everything else in life, there are two perspectives. I was looking at social eating through a lens of negativity, a perspective of lack and difficulty. I have taken food for granted many times. I have misused and abused it. I’m not an unhealthy weight because food is bad. I’m at an unhealthy weight because my relationship with food has been unhealthy. I actually happen to like healthy foods. I like variety. I like feeling satisfied but not stuffed. I want a healthy relationship with food and it starts with the proper perspective. ALL healthy relationships are simply about love and enjoyment. In the moments it took me to plate up a tasty, well-balanced, and nutritious meal for my family, those dark shades began to fall off, and a new light was shed.

How fun is food? All the flavors! Fun traditions and memories associated with eating! All the people I like to hang with and enjoy life together! Funniest family moments around the table. Going out to eat and ordering something new or something familiar. Browsing at the Farmer’s Market. Independence Day Queen Burger. Movie popcorn. There is just something so fun, familiar, easy and restful about food. Everybody is always in the kitchen. It’s great to love to eat! It’s fine to be excited about planning the food for that party, that ballgame, or even your next snack. There aren’t “bad” foods. I have struggled with food instead of just enjoying it. Food and life were created to be enjoyed. To abuse something lovely is to miss out. How wonderful is it that our bodies were made for taking nourishment breaks? When we see three squares a day through a perspective of abundance, it makes health happen. 

 

Having a healthy relationship with food is another great lesson to learn from my three little professors. Those three boys are GOOD at eating. (Some better than others.) They generally like a variety of foods. They get excited about mealtime. They have foods they like to eat at different people’s house and they get excited about eating it when they get there. Even our quiet little Jack who does not like attention used to get so excited about food that he would actually make up songs about food in the grocery store. Unloading the groceries at home was as grand as Christmas morning! Jack even takes social eating to a new level. He needs a flavor associated with every single wonderful thing we do. My Boys Enjoy Food! But you know what? They are at healthy weights. They refuse sweets as much as they accept them. When they are full, they quit eating. When they want a little more, they ask for a little more, “But dust a wittle bit! Dat’s enough!” 

 

This attitude of gratitude is more than just a rehearsed prayer before dining.  It’s a real, live, emotional fruit from seeing things in the real light. So thankful to experience the abundance of good food with the people I love most in our favorite places together. So thankful for the freedom to befriend and enjoy food. So very thankful that health flourishes in presence of light.

Let’s let health happen.

Breaking the Age Barrier

I met a wonderful lady this past week who really inspired me. She seemed to be one of those sweet, tiny, gray-headed, ladies who sings in her church choir and keeps her cupboards stocked full of ingredients for healthy meals she likes to make for people under the weather. I would bet she makes a perfect apple pie or blackberry cobbler, but would be full after eating more than one or two bites herself. She was proud of her children and grandchildren who proved to be upstanding members of society. She was lovely and at a healthy weight. She emitted inner peace that comes with a life well-lived. It was obvious that she had learned which things in life were really important and which things to let go. 

 

She looked as if she had been dainty all her life. I watched her portion healthy foods to her plate then sit down to savor them. I was surprised to learn that this little lady used to be a hundred pounds overweight. She was obese during most of her adult life and decided about fifteen years ago that she was ready to lose weight. She changed her eating and cooking habits. She began moderate exercising. She lost her excess weight and kept it off by applying good nutrition principles to her lifestyle and forming new habits. Eating is effortless for her now. 

 

Lots of people have weight success stories, and I’m inspired each time I hear one. Her story was different though. I was especially encouraged because of WHEN she accomplished her goal. She did not let age hinder her from something she wanted. She had grandchildren before she decided her weight would and should come off. I believe that sometimes we find ourselves in an age-cage that prevents our desires from coming into fruition. It is never too late! Every obstacle we build around ourself is really an imaginary one. The age barrier is no different. I know it is easy to hold on to past regrets and feel as though a portion of our life was wasted somehow. We tend to exalt time in our life when really it is just a tool we use in our world. What matters now is now. Life doesn’t end at 30, 40, 50, 60, 70, 80, or 90. It’s never too late to start living. 

 

This lady defied the age barrier. She had lived a good life. Her children were gone and raising children of her own. They would be retiring in state across the country.   She recognized that life was just beginning. She put all the past behind her including the weight she carried around for decades, and made a new life for herself. That Is Impressive! 

 

I wonder….what would I do if I didn’t’ know how old I am? What would I do if I forgot about things that happened and choices I made in the past? What would you do? It's not to late to start living today to get the life we always wanted.  

Y R U FAT

I heard Richard Simmons say once that he either had or saw a license plate that read, "YRUFAT".

So take a second to think about the answer to that question.  What is the reason that people are overweight?     Do you have an answer?   Okay, then read on.

I suppose there are a bunch of reason, but basically people usually either say lack of exercise, poor diet, or genetics/health.

There is new study from a group at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor that says people who name lack of exercise as the main cause of obesity are more likely to be heavier than those who believe poor diet is the culprit.    More than two-thirds of adults in the United States are overweight.   Inactivity and genetics are definitely factors, but evidence says the main reason is over eating. Portion Control is the Key!

Wayne and I got a gym membership once that came with a visit from a personal trainer.  One of the first things the guy said was, "losing weight is about 90% diet and the rest exercise."   It appears Mr. 2% Body Fat was 100% right.

The findings from McFerran and colleagues suggest that beliefs about weight influence food choices.

I believe in balance and a big picture.  I know myself enough to know that a little exercise may not burn as many calories as limiting portions, but it does elevate stress which makes me not want to stress eat.  It curbs my appetite so I automatically eat less without trying.  It makes me sleep better so I feel rested.  When I'm sleepy I tend to eat more.  After I exercise I have a real deep-down feeling of goodness so I'm less likely to try to get that feeling from taste.

But on the other hand, people tend to think that they can eat more if they exercise.  There has to be a partnership between the two with diet being the leader of the team.  Everything has its place and works together to make health work.   Life feels better when we wear it where it fits.

Secret Eating

Secrets are darkness.

There is a big difference between secrets and whispering sweet nothings.   It has to do with the motive.  Sweet whispers are to and about the good person you whisper to.   We don't allow secrets in our house, but we do whisper a lot of sweet nothings.

 One of my favorite stories has to do with sweet nothings.  Luke was about three or four.  I whispered in his ear, "I think you are amazing."  Then he whispered in my ear, "Did you not realize I have had diarrheas since Easters?"  (He was quoting Nacho Libre.)

Everything has to be brought to the light.  If you don't want the person to hear it, don't say it behind closed doors.  I've learned that lesson harshly.  It seems hidden words spoken in darkness are the most dangerous of all.  If we realize that, then how can light bring life to other areas?

Imagine how pleased I was when a coworker said she once attended a diet class where someone said, "Don't eat in secret."  Um Genius times a million!   That really resonated with me.

Secret foods nourish an unhealthy desire.....a.k.a fill a deprivation. Let's ask ourselves...

What are we ashamed of to cause us to hide and eat?

Why don't we feel free enough to enjoy it in the light?

...And if we are in the light, would we really want it?

Deprivation

What do you think of when you hear the word, "deprivation?"  I get all sorts of ugly images in my head.  A thirsty desert walker is the first thing that comes to mind....and it feels ugly.

Deprivation is destructive.

I went on a diet about 40 pounds or so ago because I thought I was SOOOOOOOOOO FAT. Blardy blar blarr!  I think it was my friend Heather (Hey girl) who once posted something like, "I wish I weighed what I weighed when I thought I was fat."    Yep...Me too, friend.  Me too...   Anyway, I was absolutely mortified to sign up for the diet program.  "No self-respecting dietitian would ever be caught in a weight loss meeting." I thought.  The anxiety was astonishing because I was afraid someone would ask me what I "do for a living."  Can you believe how ridiculous I was?  Good Lawdy!  So I paid good money to show up every week to be weighed.  And every week I weighed heavier and heavier. I would have been better off to stay away from diets altogether!   The scale lady finally gave me a good talkin'.    "Did you realize you gained another 3 pounds this week?  You are eating too much because you feel deprived..."  Then she added a whole bunch "good tips" to help persuade my weight to go the other direction.  I have NO idea what she said at all.  She lost me at "deprivation."  How can anyone do anything in a state of deprivation....a mentality of lack....thirsty in the desert?  There is one thing on that person's mind and it is not the Top Ten Tips To Trim and Healthy.  The thing on their mind is the thing they are deprived of.  I went to classes that gave me rules. The only thing I could think of, the only thing I desired was the things they told me I shouldn't have. The strength of sin is the law, peeps!

Thank God for a boundless life  and for having eyes to see and ears to hear how to get there.

I posted about an inspirational gal a little while back who over four years lost her weight to reach a life of health free from pills.  One thing she says often to me is, "I know myself enough to know I can't feel deprived."    Eating something not in "the plan" is less dangerous than feeling deprived.  She knows the signs of deprivation only lead to trails of treacherous terrain.  Let's not go down that path.

Wayne is exercising and losing weight like crazy. He has now lost 24 pounds.  What! What!  He literally eats what he wants.  He often says, "If you want it, you better go ahead and eat it.  Don't let yourself feel deprived."   Getting free from deprivation is an important lesson to learn on the journey to health.

This life is to be enjoyed.  Let's not get distracted with feelings of deprivation.

The very first post I ever wrote was about the beginning of this weight loss journey and the beginning of "Worth The Weight."  (I was different back then.  Things were more about instruction and obedience than recognizing a oneness and living out of who I am.) In the beginning,  I had been trying to lose some weight and had decided that I was going to "pray" about every single food I would put in my mouth.  Spirit-lead eating.  That would lead to health wouldn't it?  You tell me what to eat, and I'll eat it.  So I did.  I ended up eating a bunch crap out of "obedience to the Lord."   (Are you laughing?)  Nothing I ate would be something I would recommend on a weight loss plan.  So after some crazy meals, I finally asked the Lord, "Um....why do I feel lead to eat all this junk?"  Then he said to me, "Because I want you to see that you are more valuable than what you put in your mouth."  ---I'm worth the weight. And so the road to what I thought was weight loss, was really just a road to self-acceptance, contentment, and rest.

Believe me I know that sounds crazy.  I am really trying hard to be more scientific in my writings, but that really is what happened.  I sort of had a concept of those Jesus-type things.  But acceptance, value, and contentment were things I really only knew in my head.  It would be a good two years before I fully understood with my heart.  Fast forward and I understand freedom from food and weight like never before.  I'm still heavy but it feels like LIFE is just rolling out of me.  I know I still have a lot of weight to lose before I reach my goal weight, but I already feel like I'm living right there.  I don't care what people think or say.  I say things and react to people as if I'm already that healthy weight.  I'm free from feeling deprived.  I had to find who I was at the core before nutritional guidelines could help me out.  Information of nutrition enhances this desire for health like sea salt on a plate of steamed vegetables. I crave to know more because it promotes my desires and enhances the pleasure of health.  I've got so much to share about nutrition and feeding our bodies, but I'm still caught up on this FREEDOM high.

Things are definitely changing.  I went to an exercise class with a bunch of skinnies----I mean really skinnies as in they had arm definition and everything.  Seriously my left thigh weighs more than they do.  I had a BLAST!  Before my change of perspective, all I would have done was compare myself to those good lookin' people. The only thing I would have learned from the class is how much I didn't measure up. Now the voice of deprivation is no longer my teacher.  I enjoyed my class as I enjoy my life.  There is no comparison, because I'm there too....I just don't look like it on the outside quite yet. Sorry, Billy Crystal, but it is better to FEEL good instead of Look good.

I eat what I want seasoned with good nutrition knowledge.  I've lost an average of about a half of a pound everyday.  It's easy.  It's exciting.  It's enjoyable.  Last night the boys asked their daddy to make breakfast for supper.  For those of you illiterate in breakfast, you should know it is NOT an egg white omelet with organic blueberries and a small multi-grain vegan muffin.   We live in the South, Peeps!  We are talking homemade biscuits, scrambled eggs, sausage, chocolate gravy....you know.  The works!   So I decided to eat some.  Even while I was eating it I was thinking, "I don't want this."  But I didn't stop myself.  After I lapped up the plate, I really regretted it.  Not because of the expensive sugar and fat calories, but because I felt so yucky.  It had been a while since I had felt the food-yuck.  Thankfully, I woke up this morning and had still lost another half of a pound.  All day I've thought about that meal. I deprived my body of the pleasure of health---feeling good--- because I ate something that I thought I loved.  Oh it is still tasty.  But seriously that few minutes of taste was not worth replacing the pleasure of feeling good. 

Plain and simple: If we have feelings of deprivation, we are not seeing clearly.  No pressure, my friends.  Freedom will come.  Even our diets are boundless!  Even expectations of ourselves are only illusions! There is no thirst that cannot or has not been quenched.   The strong man has been bound.  The struggle is gone. We are worth more than we think.   Just rest!  Our bodies are designed for health!   Let's love ourselves enough to let health happen! 

The Un-facts of Nutrition

I'm going to say some things that you probably wouldn't find in a nutrition journal.  I'm going to say them because my journey to health is a whole lot more than just the facts.  Let's be honest.  If information was the biggest influence on health, America would not be the second fattest country on the planet.  Sometimes it is simply just not having the right information,  but often the root for the weight runs deeper than any adipose cell in our body.


I really believe the weight we carry on the outside is reflective of the weight on the inside. (Too big or too small.)


I believe that sometimes we overfeed  ourselves to fill up a need we think we have.   Or we starve ourselves because we feel too unworthy to take up space.


I believe that being heavy gives us some sort of sense that we belong in this world.


I believe an addiction to food is bondage.


I believe in a lot of weighty-matters, but more than any those things....I believe in freedom. 


I meet people all the time who have a greater body mass index (BMI) than I do and not because of muscle mass either.


BMI is just ratio of weight and height that can be used as an assessment tool to identify nutritional status.  From a BMI, we can identify people who are underweight, healthy weight, over weight, obese, or morbidly obese.


To hear someone with an unhealthy BMI (low or high) pour their heart out about their situation is really something special.  I'm often in awe of people's situations.  I'm trained to assess where they are and give them facts to how to reach healthy goals.  I get paid to teach when I'm actually always learning from them.  It is amazing to me that some of the struggles they share are things I've also struggled with at times.

How many diets have I been on in my life that only lead to weight gain?


How many pictures have I not been in because I was embarrassed?


How much anxiety, guilt, frustration have I felt because "I should, but I can't."


It's over.  I mean it is really, really, really over!!!


I've tasted freedom before.  I've lost some weight.  I'm trending down.  But I always had this voice in the back of my mind.  "What if its not permanent?"  "What if I fall back into old habits."  "What if...what if...what if?"  And guess what?  Remembering bondage always made me look backward.  Do we think focusing on the problem creates a solution?  No!  What we focus on becomes bigger.  It sure is hard to run forward when you keep looking back.  Even if you can keep running without stumbling, you miss the exquisite view.

Freedom is not just a snack any more.  It's the main course.  It's the meat and potatoes. It's the central line. It is what keeps this baby rolling.


Freedom used to be in a tug of war with fear.  I had gotten to the place where freedom was stronger.  I was making headway.  But every now and then that fear would give a big jerk, and I would struggle a bit.   Still, I kept pulling.


I struggled because I saw an area in my life where I didn't measure up.  Come on now! I can calculate a BMI faster than I can remember the names of ex-boyfriends. I know I fall off the nutrition charts, but I no longer struggle in my mind!   I'm not naive.  I know what I weigh.  It's just that now, I can see clearly without sins of the past casting a shadow on my path.


Now everything is different.  The rope has been severed.  Where did the fear go?  I don't know.  All that remains now is freedom.  How can I struggle when there is nothing to struggle with?


It's so easy really, but it was so hard for me at times to smear Grace on the weight loss issue.  It just took a little time.  I would get a better view then fall back.  Get a deep understanding then stumble again.  The Texas Two Step.


I had lots of mantras I tried to adopt.  You know those things you repeat to yourself while your chugging up a hill or shopping at the grocery store....


"Baby step across the finish line."


"You are not what you weigh."


"Slow and steady wins the race."


"Whatever it takes."


All of those are great, but I finally have one that resonates with every single fiber of my being!"


LET HEALTH HAPPEN


When I hear that, I feel this journey is not at all about my efforts.  It means that no matter what I do, my body was created for health.  Health will happen!  It is my nature to allow it.  It is my nature to provide an environment for health to happen in.  The struggles are gone.  I live in total freedom!  I can eat what I want!  It is just that I choose to have long-lasting pleasure from health instead of momentary pleasure from taste that only keeps me from the real deal.  I desire foods and activities that is conducive to a life style of health. Food no longer has a hold on me.  It is something to be enjoyed.   It is hard to interpret revelation into English words, but I hope you have ears to hear.


This is not about finding my place in this world.  It's not about being a good example or trying to improve myself.  It's about living, resting, and enjoying life.  If there is anything I know about the Creator, it is that he is good.  I mean REALLY, REALLY good.  It's that this life was created to be enjoyed (PERIOD!)  I was never meant to live in a cage of rules, laws, expectations from anyone or myself.  I was created to bask in absolute freedom.  To be happy, content, at rest, inner peace, present....whatever you want to call it...but it is good.


I began to "see" about two yeas ago.  I recently posted a success story of someone who took four years to find her place.  You may not feel as free as I do, or you may feel freedom more.  Let's not compare.  We are on level ground here.  Everyone find their own path.  Let's just get out and walk in the light that we have.


The best advice I ever got was from a man who I first heard the pure message of grace. I told him that I felt like I've been standing in front of a wall for years.  He came and knocked down that wall, and all it did for me was show me how far I have to go.  He gave me a hug and simply said, "Just rest."

That was about six years ago now.  That resonated, but I didn't really understand it.  Today I feel at rest.  At this place of rest, I am content.  I am happy.  I can let health happen.


Oh and I lost another pound!  It's happening and it's happening in freedom!

Wayne's Revelation of Health

I am more excited about this post than anything ever.  I can't even decide what to title it because it is just so huge within me right now.   This is a game changer.  Wayne is always doing this to me....FOR me.   He gets these revelations that absolutely change my life.  This revelation is from a guy who now has lost 21 pounds in five weeks.  Overnight a desire for health was birthed in him and everyday it accelerates.  This is not a weight loss plan, but a lifestyle.  I'm proud of him, and very thankful that I have a guy who has a relationship with a loving Heavenly Father so that he influences our family and infects us with LIFE!  I've written before about this journey being about perspective.  Tonight Wayne shared his perspective with me, and we are sharing it with you below.   I can feel deep down that this is a key puzzle piece to my personal journey of health.  I hope it resonates with you as much as it did me....


     "My perspective is changing about weight loss.  We always view losing weight as hard, so we dread it, put it off, and just avoid the mirror or the camera.  Actors gain and loose weight all the time for the roles they play.  They do not view it as hard.  It's just part of the job.  It is actually harder for us to stay fat.  We have to really work hard to keep the weight on.   Our bodies want to be healthy, and it rewards us by feeling good.  We automatically gravitate to what we think will be pleasure.  We substitute a moment of something tasting good for feeling good all the time.  Taste is an illusion.  It's an inoculation for health.  Just wake up and allow yourself to be who you were designed to be.  You have to stay deceived to stay fat."
     "Deprivation is another misconception.  When anyone speaks of "going on a diet," in the back of our minds we think diet=deprivation.  I don't do diets.  This is simply my lifestyle.  If at any point in this journey I feel deprived, it simply indicates that I am still deceived in some area.  I eat exactly what I want.  We deprive ourselves when we constantly force more food in than our bodies need or want.  We feel bad, and it is hard feeling bad all the time.  It had been so long for me that I forgot what it felt like to feel good.  You could call it an addiction.  I didn't have to fight to overcome an addiction. That would have been too hard.  I just traded it for a stronger one.  I went from a momentary satisfaction to one that is complete and perpetual, and it feels great." ---Wayne Blaylock


...I find that seeing from that perspective brings life to me.  It makes me want to go run another mile!  I do want to expound on his inoculation comment.   Inoculation is when you get just enough of something so that you don't get the real thing.  It is like immunizations. The doctor gives you a shot of the disease.  Your body sets up a defense for it at that time so if you ever come in contact with it again you won't get the disease.  Wayne is saying that we inoculate ourselves with a moment of pleasure so that we don't obtain the real pleasure of health.   We have found that logic to be true in many areas of our lives, and now we see its relevance in our journey to health.  I feel like I can see even more clearly now.   I think I can love myself enough to let health happen.   I. Am . EXCITED!

Bragging on Mr. Blaylock

For those of you who follow this blog, I just want to say it's an honor that you share this journey with me for better or worse.  It's amazing what a little midnight confession via blog will do for you.   It was liberating for me to get to share my frustrations, struggles, and feelings of inadequacies in recent posts. Often it takes me getting  real to see clearly.  The fog has lifted, and I found the fun again.  I'm feeling extra motivated today!  (By the way, I'm another pound down! Woo Woo!)

...But today's post is not about me  I get to brag a little about Mr. Blaylock!  Where do I start?  Oh how about he's lost 18 pounds in four weeks!  Holla!

Actually, he's lost so much weight so quickly that we are having to watch to make sure it's not too fast.  GRADUAL weight loss is desired.  The slower the loss, the greater the likelihood of permanent weight loss.  Rapid weight loss is mostly loss of water and lean body mass.  The goal is FAT loss which is done at a slower pace. (More on this later.)

We often have eyes bigger than our stomach.  Sometimes we desire more than we need or can handle in eating as well as in weight loss.  Remember it took a long time to pack on the pounds.  It's not all going to just disappear.  Think "health" instead of "weight loss."   We want to be a healthy weight, and there is a healthy way to get there.  It seems like a lot of work to only lose 1/2 to 2 pounds each week, but that's the recommended weight loss goal.  Of course, a bigger person might lose more at first, but the loss per week should taper down as the weight lowers.  If HEALTH is your goal, then the food choices seem more effortless and the slow weight loss is just a fruit of your good choices. 

So back to the hubs...    It all started when I took some photos of him. He was embarrassed of how he looked in the pictures.  This somehow revved the engine of health, and he literally changed overnight.   We typically have nutritious family meals, but  Wayne's super-sized motivation has transformed our whole family into health even more.  He is being a great example for our boys.  They  have such a healthy view of eating and exercise.

So how has he done it?  The good old-fashioned way!   Wayne has been monitoring his portion sizes.  He still eats regular foods but might only have one piece of pizza.  He quit eating late at night.  He chooses more fruits and vegetables.  He drinks tons of water.  I think he forgot soft drinks exist.  Neither of us are buying junk food now.  His stomach growls more often, and he eats when it growls.  The biggest change is how active he is.

Exercise is priority for him, and the transformation has been amazing.  He makes sure he gets in a good aerobic workout almost everyday.  He began slowly at first by walking two miles. He is now up to jogging four miles almost everyday, plus tennis, bicycling, practicing tee-ball, or jogging while pushing the stroller.  The fun things with the boys don't count in his exercise routine.  These activities are just extra little goodies that have ultimately earned him an eighteen-pound intentional weight loss. 

It's changed our family dynamics.  We can't really exercise together since our guys are so little.  Somebody has to be on call.  Tonight there was only about thirty minutes of daylight left after the tee ball game.  Wayne let me be the one to close down the day.   I so loved jogging at sunset!  Then I did bedtime while Wayne ran on a treadmill at his fantastic sister's house.  We are still figuring out how to fit and increase our physical activity into our busy life.  It's just another piece of our family puzzle.  There is a place it will fit. Sometimes it means that I walk the driveway after the sun has gone down.  Sometimes Wayne stops by the university stadium to run the stairs on the way back home after errands.   Last night, Wayne started supper then I took over cooking when I got home and he went for his run.  By the time he got back, supper was ready.  We ate together as a family.  The menu was lean hamburger steak with sauteed mushrooms, mashed potatoes, steamed carrots, and crowder peas.  The boys had a frosting-free pumpkin cupcake for dessert.   We started the bedtime procedures then I went for my jog.  Quite a juggling act, and we are getting better with plenty of planning and practice.  My cousin recently told me that she and her husband got to go for a jog together the other day and it felt like a date.  I'm beginning to understand that.     

I'll keep you posted on his weight loss journey as well as mine.  Now I'm REALLY enjoying this journey!   It's so much fun to have the whole family super motivated and enjoying this journey together. 

Cupcakes

"You lost me at cupcake..."

I was another pound down when I weighed this morning.  Yes, I'm surprised!  Yesterday I ate at least three cupcakes.  Say Wha?  Of course they were a healthier version, but a cupcake is a cupcake right?  Apparently not.

My 5-year-old, Jack, was really excited for cupcakes, but he said he would only eat half of one because he didn't want to get fat.  I told him how I had made them healthier.  So then he was excited to eat the whole thing!    The boys preferred them without frosting.

 I made these with more protein, fiber, and vitamins, and less sugar and fat.   The cake recipe is a version from the  cookbook,  "Deceptively Delicious".   I experimented with the frosting.  I only added the coconut oil for the nutrition, but I did like the texture very much. They were definitely a treat.  They were so yummy!   My favorite part was that I didn't feel "yucky" after I ate it.  It was very satisfying.  Another example of how more healthful things can taste good and promote weight loss.  You don't have to be a food nazi to have health.  Choose natural ingredients as often as you can!

Yellow Cup Cakes with Hawaiian  Frosting

A yellow cake mix
2 egg whites plus 1 egg
1/4 cup water
2 tablespoons of oil
6 oz yogurt
1 cup pumpkin
Mix up, and bake on 350 degrees for about 20 minutes.

The frosting...(I was experimenting.)

Blend together:
3 tablespoons coconut oil
1 cup crushed pineapple, drained. (Get the canned that is in juice rather than syrup)
1/2 cup shredded coconut
3oz vanilla pudding powder
8oz cool whip or whipped cream

I thought they were really good.   I forgot to grab breakfast at home this morning.  I almost headed home to grab one of these this morning even though it would have made me late to work.   Oh well.  Looking forward to one after supper tonight.

.

Pouty Poo Party

This is sort of the "Return of the Jedi" sequel from the previous post called, "I Almost Deleted This Blog."...


I do feel a need to explain myself.... Very often I write a post, but then simmer over it for days or weeks, sometimes months before publishing it.   So if it seems I'm up and down, well....I am, but over long periods of time.

I debated whether or not to post about almost deleting this blog.  I didn't want to be discouraging.    I finally deciding to go ahead and post it because after all, it is still part of my journey.

In the meantime, I did some pondering.  (And I also went back and read some encouraging posts.)  I know there are many reasons for negative emotions, but I think I was just being a pouty poo.  I was feeling sorry for myself.  There is a lot I could analyze about that.   But when simplified to the core, what I found was pride.    ...and pride always come before the fall.  The fall back into habits I left behind.  The fall back into weight gain.

It is prideful to think I'm on this journey to improve who I am.  (I am who I am apart from my weight.)

It is prideful elevating my weight and "diet" above things that really matter. .

It is prideful getting upset because I feel like I have too much to do to exercise.  (You know...everything has a pay off.  I chose to feel that way because I wanted an excuse to feel sorry myself.    It is simply not true that anything was preventing me from 20 minutes of walking....even in the rain.    I could have gone if I wanted.)

It is prideful to feel  sorry for myself.  And even more than that, it is stupid to believe lies that end up being my date to the pity party.  I used to say, "Nobody good wants to come a pity party."   That's still true.

Now it's time to dust off that way of thinking like it never happened.  No guilt allowed even for stupid thinking.

When the pouty poo leaves the party, all that is left is a party.  Now we can get this party started.  Today I do what I want to.  And what I want to do is choose foods I like that make my body thank me for eating them.   I want to go for a walk or maybe a little jog because it is actually very relaxing for me.  I want to go to bed about thirty minutes early so I can read  "Trim Healthy Mama" and enjoy reading about somebody else's journey of health.   I want to live in freedom from food and fat where choosing health is effortless.   That is what I want to do.  I have had times like these before.  I know it is possible.   It's a deep desire within me.  It's my nature.  Plus I just happen to LIKE food and nutrition.  I majored in it for crying out loud.  (My dad says it is fine to go to school for seven years, but usually they are called "doctors".)   yeah....

The struggle for me is to make sure I keep WHAT  I want to do and WHO I am separated.  I'm not the party, but I can go and enjoy myself.    Who's wants to go with me?

I almost deleted this blog.

I almost deleted this blog.   I felt like jumping off the proverbial cliff  and taking this blog down with me.  I've been overcome with negative thoughts and emotions regarding the lack of progress on this journey.  Sure, I'm inching along, but at the pace of a snail on comfort measures.   It feels like I've been drinking a glass that is half empty for about a month now.  There have been some moments of right-thinking, but lately they are overpowered by a negative perspective.  I miss the ease of resting in who I am and choosing healthful foods in freedom.  I miss the days when health was something I WANT to do rather than something I MUST do.

Caged by condemnation. Shackled by shame.  Simply embarrassed.

 I know how I was enticed.  I got a new job where it is important for me to be a "good example."   I'm good at my job, but I don't really "look" like it.  I have these vain imaginations where I'm giving a lecture on nutrition to a group of doctors.  One of them raises his hand and asks in an accusing tone, "Then why are you fat?"  It's an awkward moment, but I calmly just reply, "Because I ate too much. ....and YOU'RE the doctor."

I've been exercising.
I eat breakfast.
I always choose water.
I quit eating late at night.
I almost always eat five fruits and vegetables each day.
I choose more whole foods and less processed as a habit.
I've lost 2lbs a week for the last two weeks.

Um....then what's the problem?  Because of how I FEEL about it.  It's not been as easy to make these choices.  I feel bad about myself, then I feel bad for feeling bad because I know better.  The cycle of death.  The cycle that leads to weight gain.

This sense that I lack something creates a sort of black hole within me.  My negative feelings make me want to fill the black hole with as much sugary drink and junk food as possible.  The problem with a black hole is that it is impossible to fill.  The inability to fill it just reminds me how empty it is, and the cycle continues.  (Insert depressing violin music here.). 

I've returned to bondage by making my behavior about something I must do to "become somebody" instead of accepting myself then feeding this body out of who I am.    There is a big difference for the same behavior .  It's not even about the behavior.  It's about which mindset gave birth to the behavior.  One weight loss plan is from fun and freedom.  The other will lead to the death of the journey.

I cannot finish my journey if I don't enjoy it.

As for now, I'll turn away from the cliff, pack up my blog, and we'll walk this thing out until I suddenly see the cup I carry is really half full.

I also think I will reread the wisdom of my skinny friend I wrote about about in the Post titled, "She Made It".     I've been there...  I know what is like to skip down the path enjoying every step of the journey.  Discouragement has no place here.  We'll find freedom again very soon.  Because I want it.

Pancakes

I've probably talked about pancakes more than any other type of recipe.  I love "panty cakes" and they are so easy to practice with various ingredients and power pack them with nutrition.

My latest version was a multigrain pancake.  I went to the health-food aisle and bought almond, tapioca, and brown rice flours.  I experimented with almond flour first.  I still used whole wheat and

Unbleached flour, but you wouldn't have to.  Substitute the amount of wheat flours for gluten free versions.

1/2 cup almond flour

1/2 cup Unbleached flour

1 cup whole wheat flour

2 Tablespoons ground flax seed

2 teaspoons cinnamon

2 eggs

2 cups coconut milk

2 teaspoons vanilla

2 Tablespoons oil
1/4 cup sour cream

Mix dry ingredients then the wet.  Serve with real maple syrup.  Yum!   I especially liked the slightly crunchy texture of the almond flour.  I think I must always make them with that flour.

Next time I will add a cup of sweet potato purée.  Can't wait!

Little Ben helped me make the pancakes.  He was especially excited to try them.  Normally he waits until somebody might feed him. But before I knew it, he had his mouth filled full of pancakes and he just gave me a big thumbs up.  Boy-approved for sure!  

She Made It!

I had a most inspirational conversation with a skinny this morning.  She came by my office seeking information on healthy choices when eating out.  She is so tiny but she hasn’t always been this way.  She has made a total physical transformation such that I had asked other people about her because I hadn’t had a chance to speak with her about it.  I was thankful for the opportunity to visit morning. 

It was so refreshing to hear her perspective on her weight loss journey.  Her mindset now and then is not too different than my own.  She began her journey years before I did.  Gradually, and I mean gradually, she began changing eating, exercise, and thinking  habits that resulted in becoming her high school cheerleader weight.

She set out on her journey because of some health issue that could only be corrected with diet and exercise.  She began simply by decreasing her salt intake.  After that she felt comfortable to omit soft drinks.  After that was settled within her, she switched to unsweetened tea.  At first, a half a mile was strenuous.  When she set out on her journey, she thought she could meet her weight loss goal in about three months.  Her weight bounced up and down, but ever so gradually over four years, she finally reached her desired weight and had lost 45 pounds.  She has kept it off since then, and eating seems effortless to her.  She exercises everyday and runs marathons.  She habitually makes the healthful choices.  She monitors her intake.  She counts out how many crackers she will eat and she measures her beans.  She chooses wholesome, natural foods most times.  She eats off a small plate.  She knows she can have it, and she knows herself enough to know not to deprive herself.  Everything in moderation.  I love that she said, "I weighed this weight in high school so I knew I could do it again."

Of course we know what we would like to weigh, but small goals and small changes are the key.  One day these slow and steady baby steps will carry us over the finish line and it will feel as natural as breathing.   She found her path.  She was gentle and patient with herself.  Becoming overwhelmed with the journey only discourages us and causes resistance on our path.  Let’s be kind to ourselves, listen and live where we really are.  

Nutritional Nugget
My friend came by to see how eating out can fit into her eating plan.  Here are a few things we talked about:
There are plenty of apps to download that provide calorie counters, etc for restaurants.  But there are other methods for information as well.  Usually choosing one item off the dollar menu will be sufficient for a meal.  Drink water and lots of water.  Split a meal with a friend.  Almost everywhere has salad.  Eat it dry or watch out for the calories in the dressing.  Also remember that cheese, nuts, meat, bacon bits, etc added to the salad greatly increases the caloric value to sometimes surprising amount.  

It is also possible to gather restaurant facts on the Internet before traveling.  I have some handouts that I give out in the office. These tell me info such as which are the best and worst calorically dense choices on the menu. 

Did you know a sausage egg biscuit from McDonalds gives you 510 kcal, 33g fat, and 1170mg sodium.  YIKES! Egg McMuffin is listed on the best choice list but still gives 300 kcal and 12 grams fat, 820mg sodium.   

One slice of Pizza Hut Pizza veggie lovers on thin crust gives 240 calories and 9 grams fat.  But a 9 inch personal pan meat lovers gives 1470 calories and 80 grams of fat.  Not to mention 3670mg sodium.  Whoa baby!  

Many restaurants have the calorie breakdown on the menu. 

Choose wisely friends. Plan ahead and be nutritious conscious out there!  

The Apple Theives and Cinnamon

We had overnight company last week.  I wanted them to feel as comfortable in our home as I did when I stayed with my most special com-padre' in the world, Kathrin.  When I arrived to her German home, they had a saucer filled with all sorts of fruits and goodies for me to eat during my stay.  I always loved this, so I was excited to get to do it for our friends.  I filled a bowl with granola bars, candy bars, and apples.  The only problem is that we have three, always-hungry boys in the house who kept helping themselves to the bedside bowl before our guests arrived.  I couldn't get them in trouble, though, because I was just so proud.  A bowl full of goodies and they kept eating the apples out of it! They never even touched the candy.  I'm so proud that it is just in them to make the healthful choices.  Of course that is not always the case, but it showed me they have it in them.

Nutritional Nugget:  Cinnamon

I made a recipe tonight and decided to add cinnamon.  I think herbs and spices are so dandy.   They add flavor allowing the elimination of salt, but also provide health benefits. I've spoken of cinnamon before, but just felt I wanted to mention some of the health benefits again..

There are many inconclusive studies regarding cinnamon.  Some research says that cinnamon helps to regulate blood sugar which is just super cool.  Other research is still pending regarding reducing cholesterol, yeast infections, and arthritic pain. One piece of research said cinnamon helps prevent the spreading of cancer cells. It's a natural preservative. Some believe it helps with menstrual pain and infertility as well as help to balance hormones. Some research also says that cinnamon helps to decrease the inflammation associated with neurological diseases.

Some people (like one our favorite people in the whole world) have cinnamon allergies.  Too much might cause irritation to the mouth.

 

Honey Do

We are minimizing our house which feels really awesome.  There is a similar feeling between purging stuff and pounds.  But that is not what I want to talk about today.

I was going to trash an old notebook I came across during the cleaning, but thought I better look through it first. I'm so glad I did.  I found a treasure.  I don't know how I managed to catch this hidden in the pages.  I saw  where I had brainstormed some thoughts years ago about  my weight.  Down at the bottom of one of the pages was Wayne's handwriting that said something like, "You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen and I hate that you have thoughts about yourself like this."(I'm blushing. It still feels weird to type it out.)

I almost didn't know what to do or think or say.  How sweet was that? It definitely sparked life inside my heart. Who knows how long it had been hidden in those pages, but the timing for me was perfect.  My thoughts are not as severe as they once were, but there are elements from the past that creep up from time to time like weeds in a garden.  Wayne's acceptance reminded me of the right way to think.  I feel even more empowered for health with every healthy thought that blooms.  This journey really is about nothing except an innate desire to choose life.  Unconditional love always does that....makes space enough for life to bloom.   It is nice to have such a great guy who accepts me as I am at this moment.  It reminds me I can accept myself.  And as I rest in myself, the real me manifests and sheds this weight of my old nature.  I am loving this journey!

Nutritional Nugget:  Honey

I thought this was the perfect post to talk about sweet, sweet honey.

I used to be allergic to honey, but I can tolerate it now.  A family favorite is peanut butter and honey sandwiches.  Honey is a natural sweetener that has been used as a functional food for all sorts of ailments by all sorts of people.  I believe we don't know all there is to know about honey.  The medical world has to have sufficient evidence before coming to a consensus for practice.   But we do know a few things....

First the dangers... Honey should never be given to an baby.  I allowed my boys to have it at two-years-old, but some people caution to age three.  There is a risk for botulism with their immature immune system and also a risk for developing allergies.

Secondly, just because honey is natural, doesn't mean it can be treated differently than sugar with conditions such as diabetes.  Sugar is still sugar when blood sugar is concerned.  Often it is wiser to choose carbohydrate foods that are more filling or complex such as those that contain fiber such as fresh fruit or whole grains.  When you think that 1 tablespoon of honey contains as much sugar as a bowl full of berries or a container of yogurt, it puts things in perspective.

Having said that, I believe in the power of honey even if nothing more than a placebo effect to make a sore throat feel a little sweeter.  I do feel its natural state trumps that of more processed sugars.  The darker the honey, the more antioxidants it will have.  The grade that honey gets more reflects the quality of the honey such as taste, color, and lack of honey comb than the nutritive value.  I believe buying local honey is best because of the belief that it helps to battle allergens from local plants even though I've not read any evidence-based research on that one.  Besides that, isn't it fun to buy from a local farmer?  Thanks to my organic friend Heather, I now add a tablespoon of bee pollen in my smoothies.  Honey has antibacterial properties that are used in all sorts of regions to help with things like wound healing.  It's exciting to think about discoveries to come from such a sweet, natural treat.