I lost 5.6 pounds! A big thank you to all of you who read this blog because it helped keep me accountable!
In the past I would have rewarded myself for losing weight. The reward would most likely be food, like I deserve the brownie sundae with pralines and cream smothered in hot fudge complete with whipped cream and nuts. (Hmmmm...but that does sound good...) Although I am very, very, very happy I lost some poundage, I realize now that my self worth is not based on what I can do and how good I can do it. It is a big confidence builder that I did lose this week, but it is not about the number of pounds on the scale. I am worthy no matter if I weigh 90 pounds or 900 pounds. My jeans still fit a little too tight, but I feel some skinny in my heart today. There were times during today when I actually forgot I was overweight. I don't ever remembering that happening before. It was such a revelation for me when I realized that I wasn't hungry for food, I was hungry for the bread of life as I mentioned in my Day 6 post. I don't feel like I need a reward or a pat on the back. I know this weight loss is fruit of what is happening on the inside. I'm casting my care, laying down burdens, accepting myself. Even before I weighed, today I was content, and I love it here.
Wins for Today
I had such a good day today. I was so at peace. I ate when I was hungry, but I so enjoyed the feeling of being full in my spirit and not distracted by being too full in my physical self. At snack time, my sister ate some cookies so I did too. Before I even ate the first bite I knew deep down that I really didn't want it. I know I have reached a new level in my heart because I ate a cookie wishing I was eating the fresh watermelon I had cut up in the refrigerator. I actually got to a place today where I would rather not eat than eat junk. HUMONGOUSLY HUGE BIG FAT ROCKING AWESOME WIN!
Nutritional Nugget
Say “YES” to monounsaturated fatty acids! This is a good fat that has been shown to reduce the fat around the mid section. You'll find this good fat in these sources: seeds, nuts, olives, olive oil, dark chocolate, and avocados.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Day 7 Food For Thought: Food Hoarding
We don't have television, but I have seen a clip or two about hoarders. Apparently it is a popular show, and I must admit I am also intrigued by it. Why? I do not know. If I dare to take a guess, I think the root of whatever it is in people that causes hoarding has been planted in me too. I thought of a term I had never thought of before this week. “Food Hoarder.” I don't mean stocking up the pantry, I mean stuffing our bodies with excessive, unnecessary food. It is a mentality that if it is food I will eat it and never say no to it. The worst thing you can tell a food hoarder is, “If you don't eat it, it will go to waste.” Honestly, doing this is honoring food above our own bodies. We value food so we eat it like we are human garbage disposals. It seems to grow from a belief of lack. “I am not enough.” It is like using food to fill a void or distract us from some bigger issue in our soul. It is a feeling that food will make it all better and so we can't get enough. It is over eating and binge eating. It is bondage that we have already been delivered from. Sometimes we just need to be reminded we are free. Free to eat and free to not eat. We are worth more than that “box of Little Debbie's in one sittin'.”
I believe having that mentality of food hoarding is a glimpse of a much deeper issue. I have not only eaten too much in the past, I keep everything! I totally need to cut out some stuff. It is interesting... although I am purging my eating habits, my heart is the real thing that is being purged and as a result, I also have cleaner closets! Today as I was driving by myself, I was thinking about this. I asked Father, what is it in my heart that makes feel like I need to be a hoarder even on a small scale? I've not gotten the answer yet. It will come when I am ready to hear it.
Wins for Today:
This is the last day of the first week. I have made some strides, but don't want to get to comfortable because I have a long way to go. Tomorrow is my first weigh in. I'm excited to see how much I have lost, but even if I have not lost one single pound, I will not be discouraged. The real victory is that I already feel lighter in my heart. Food was hardly an issue for me today. It feels good to feel free.
For supper I ate a broccoli slaw wrap. I just spread a tortilla with a small amount of all natural ranch dip. Sprinkled it with broccoli slaw. Rolled it up and ate it. I enjoyed it so much, I hated when it was over. It was only about 200 calories or less. I am already looking forward to enjoying one again tomorrow.
Nutritional Nuggets
Something to try to avoid is Trans Fatty Acids. They are so terrible for our health that it is required by our government to list the trans fats on the food label. The manufacturers can still list zero if it has less than 1 gram per serving or something like that. To double make sure what you eat is trans fat free, read the ingredient list to make sure it does not list something like, “hydrogenated oil.” It might say, “partially hydrogenate vegetable oil,” or something similar.
Trans fats are a man made saturated fat. They act like saturated fats in raising cholesterol, but they also lower the good cholesterol and studies have even shown they inflame or harden arteries. Nope. Not good at all. The reason we have had so many products made with this is because it tastes good, it produces a longer shelf life, and it is cheaper. Just say, “No” to trans fats.
I believe having that mentality of food hoarding is a glimpse of a much deeper issue. I have not only eaten too much in the past, I keep everything! I totally need to cut out some stuff. It is interesting... although I am purging my eating habits, my heart is the real thing that is being purged and as a result, I also have cleaner closets! Today as I was driving by myself, I was thinking about this. I asked Father, what is it in my heart that makes feel like I need to be a hoarder even on a small scale? I've not gotten the answer yet. It will come when I am ready to hear it.
Wins for Today:
This is the last day of the first week. I have made some strides, but don't want to get to comfortable because I have a long way to go. Tomorrow is my first weigh in. I'm excited to see how much I have lost, but even if I have not lost one single pound, I will not be discouraged. The real victory is that I already feel lighter in my heart. Food was hardly an issue for me today. It feels good to feel free.
For supper I ate a broccoli slaw wrap. I just spread a tortilla with a small amount of all natural ranch dip. Sprinkled it with broccoli slaw. Rolled it up and ate it. I enjoyed it so much, I hated when it was over. It was only about 200 calories or less. I am already looking forward to enjoying one again tomorrow.
Nutritional Nuggets
Something to try to avoid is Trans Fatty Acids. They are so terrible for our health that it is required by our government to list the trans fats on the food label. The manufacturers can still list zero if it has less than 1 gram per serving or something like that. To double make sure what you eat is trans fat free, read the ingredient list to make sure it does not list something like, “hydrogenated oil.” It might say, “partially hydrogenate vegetable oil,” or something similar.
Trans fats are a man made saturated fat. They act like saturated fats in raising cholesterol, but they also lower the good cholesterol and studies have even shown they inflame or harden arteries. Nope. Not good at all. The reason we have had so many products made with this is because it tastes good, it produces a longer shelf life, and it is cheaper. Just say, “No” to trans fats.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Day 6 Food For Thought: A Break In The Chain
So I've been making better choices, but I had a bit of a struggle today. My body was REALLY trying to maintain its weight or something. I think I must have lost a little because I acted like I was starving all day. I cooked an awesome supper..roast with low fat gravy, zucchini fresh from the garden (thanks, Nana) steamed carrots, mashed potatoes and cornbread. I didn't overeat although I wanted to. We got the boys to bed then I started losing a late night battle with myself over some more roast and gravy. So I did the thing I knew I would regret later, I got seconds. After all, I was feeling hungry and it was so yummy. I was tired. It had been a long, busy day, but a good day. All that added up to me wanting to end my day with food. I knew I should not deep down, but flesh was pulling on that tug of war rope hard and my inner man just didn't have it in me. I ate one bite of my yummy roast then Benjamin Jude woke up. As I was putting him back to bed, I heard a still small voice. (That always seems to happen around Ben Dudey.) “The way you feel when you carry this weight is not worth it. You are worth feeling good.” That was enough encouragement to get me back on the right track. I went back downstairs. I did eat one more bite, but then I put the rest away. As soon as I did that, I knew deep on the inside that all day I thought I had been fighting the desire of my hungry flesh, when really I was hungry for spiritual food—some quality time with the bread of life. I got ready for bed and found myself anxious to get there for some quiet time. After just a few minutes, I found true nourishment and felt so at peace and free, once again, from food. What I discovered is that today food was a distraction as it has been so often in my past. I have been a bit overwhelmed in my thinking lately so I habitually go worship at the alter of food without even realize I'm doing it. When I'm distracted by feeding my face, it is difficult to hear that satisfying voice of my father. It was more than an emotional warning sign. Now I see that when I war against the flesh, I take this journey into my own strength instead of resting in his gentle grace to carry me through it.
Wins for today
1.I ate a small banana split and I enjoyed it. Turns out food is even more pleasurable when you quit concentrating on being a food hoarder and just eat for nourishment and joy.
Nutritional Nugget
Fiber, Fiber, and more Fiber! Strive for at least 25 grams. (14 grams for every 1000 calories you need. 5 grams plus age for a child.) Be sure to increase drinking water or you might think you have eaten brick mortar. Fiber helps in weight loss, regularity, glucose control, cholesterol reduction, among other things. It's not as hard as you think to get plenty. I like double fiber bread. 5 grams per slice so a sandwich at lunch is 10 grams!
Wins for today
1.I ate a small banana split and I enjoyed it. Turns out food is even more pleasurable when you quit concentrating on being a food hoarder and just eat for nourishment and joy.
Nutritional Nugget
Fiber, Fiber, and more Fiber! Strive for at least 25 grams. (14 grams for every 1000 calories you need. 5 grams plus age for a child.) Be sure to increase drinking water or you might think you have eaten brick mortar. Fiber helps in weight loss, regularity, glucose control, cholesterol reduction, among other things. It's not as hard as you think to get plenty. I like double fiber bread. 5 grams per slice so a sandwich at lunch is 10 grams!
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Day 5 Food For Thought: New Kind of Normal
When I was in my internship, I went to a dietetic conference in Texas with my co-interns—the best gals on the planet! We had lots of fun together, and we ate lots. We had been dining out every meal on really tasty food. Toward the end of the trip, my friend Kelly said, “Man, I am so hungry for just vegetables.” She indicated how she din not feel as well as she normally does. For some reason that really struck something in my brain because I was thinking, “I'm not hungry for vegetables.” I was enjoying the food we had been eating. Kelly was used to eating very healthful foods most of the time so when she began to eat outside her normal, her body picked up on that and she longed to feel best again. Her normal felt healthy because she consistently chose wise foods for her body.
Several years ago I had some issues with my thyroid. I felt ok even though there were a few symptoms like my hair was falling out. The hospital where I worked had an employee health fair where they were offering to take cheaper labs. I just felt lead to get my thyroid level checked. It turned out it was the worst level the nurse had ever seen. I was far from the normal range, but it felt normal to me because my body adapted to its function. I was put on medication to correct it, but I never noticed a big difference. After many months of normal range, I forgot to take my pill one day and the whole day I felt horrible. My level had crept up just a little above the normal range and was not even close to where I had been functioning before my medication. But I felt terrible. I did not know how I made it through the day. My point is this. When I found my new normal, just the slightest unhealthful act made alarms go off in my body and I longed to feel best again.
My way of thinking about food has been MY normal for a long, long time. I have allowed myself to develop some not-so-dandy habits. I want a new normal. I want to eat so healthful that I crave vegetables instead of calorie-dense, comfort carbs in my weak moments. To train my body for my new normal I desire, I must consciously make choices for wisdom. It doesn't mean I can't have “bad” stuff. (All food can have a place. There are not bad foods, but there are better choices.) I will continue to tell myself, I am worth feeling best. I am worth....broccoli instead cheetos, etc.
Wins for Today
1.I went grocery shopping and got lots of good healthful stuff. I love to shop for food! I guess the win is putting my more healthful plan in my pantry. I got some products I'm excited to try like Quinoa. It is an organic whole grain that has 7 grams of protein and 3 grams of fiber per serving. It is fun to have a buggy full of colorful fruits and vegetables. Although I am a big believer in “if I don't buy it, I won't eat it,” I did get a few other not-so-healthful goodies. Moderation is the key. I'm not going to make my family eat “cold turkey” on my new health kick. We can improve nutritionally as a family, but really my boys eat very healthy and I'm comfortable allowing them to learn moderation while still getting vanilla oreos. I don't want them to think there are foods that are special rewards. I want them to understand balance and never experience deprivation or that they lack. I want them to learn that spinach can taste good. I want them to know that broccoli is worth choosing over a brownie because it builds them as big as daddy.
2.I drank more water.
3.I stopped when I got full.
Nutritional Nugget
Most of the time, the portion sizes are what gets us. One of my all time favorite patients EVER was the worst nutritional risk I have ever had. She told me that she only ate one meal a day, but did have one Little Debbie for breakfast. Come to find out it was ONE WHOLE BOX. “One sittin'” is now one my favorite all time quotes. To go along with the exchange list I posted yesterday, here is a list of serving or portion sizes.
Woman's fist or baseball -- a serving of vegetables or fruit is about the size of your fist
A rounded handful -- about one half cup cooked or raw veggies or cut fruit, a piece of fruit, or ½ cup of cooked rice or pasta – this is a good measure for a snack serving, such as chips or pretzels
Deck of cards -- a serving of meat, fish or poultry or the palm of your hand (don't count your fingers!) – for example, one chicken breast, ¼ pound hamburger patty or a medium pork chop
Golf ball or large egg -- one quarter cup of dried fruit or nuts
Tennis ball -- about one half cup of ice cream
Computer mouse -- about the size of a small baked potato
Compact disc -- about the size of one serving of pancake or small waffle
Thumb tip -- about one teaspoon of peanut butter
Six dice -- a serving of cheese
Check book -- a serving of fish (approximately 3 oz.)
Eyeball it! Take a look at the recommended serving sizes on the new USDA MyPyramid Use a measuring cup or a food scale and practice measuring some of your favorite foods onto a plate, so that you can see how much (or how little!) a ½ cup or 3-ounce serving is. This will help you "eyeball" a reasonable serving!
(Google USDA Portions for a more complete list.)
Several years ago I had some issues with my thyroid. I felt ok even though there were a few symptoms like my hair was falling out. The hospital where I worked had an employee health fair where they were offering to take cheaper labs. I just felt lead to get my thyroid level checked. It turned out it was the worst level the nurse had ever seen. I was far from the normal range, but it felt normal to me because my body adapted to its function. I was put on medication to correct it, but I never noticed a big difference. After many months of normal range, I forgot to take my pill one day and the whole day I felt horrible. My level had crept up just a little above the normal range and was not even close to where I had been functioning before my medication. But I felt terrible. I did not know how I made it through the day. My point is this. When I found my new normal, just the slightest unhealthful act made alarms go off in my body and I longed to feel best again.
My way of thinking about food has been MY normal for a long, long time. I have allowed myself to develop some not-so-dandy habits. I want a new normal. I want to eat so healthful that I crave vegetables instead of calorie-dense, comfort carbs in my weak moments. To train my body for my new normal I desire, I must consciously make choices for wisdom. It doesn't mean I can't have “bad” stuff. (All food can have a place. There are not bad foods, but there are better choices.) I will continue to tell myself, I am worth feeling best. I am worth....broccoli instead cheetos, etc.
Wins for Today
1.I went grocery shopping and got lots of good healthful stuff. I love to shop for food! I guess the win is putting my more healthful plan in my pantry. I got some products I'm excited to try like Quinoa. It is an organic whole grain that has 7 grams of protein and 3 grams of fiber per serving. It is fun to have a buggy full of colorful fruits and vegetables. Although I am a big believer in “if I don't buy it, I won't eat it,” I did get a few other not-so-healthful goodies. Moderation is the key. I'm not going to make my family eat “cold turkey” on my new health kick. We can improve nutritionally as a family, but really my boys eat very healthy and I'm comfortable allowing them to learn moderation while still getting vanilla oreos. I don't want them to think there are foods that are special rewards. I want them to understand balance and never experience deprivation or that they lack. I want them to learn that spinach can taste good. I want them to know that broccoli is worth choosing over a brownie because it builds them as big as daddy.
2.I drank more water.
3.I stopped when I got full.
Nutritional Nugget
Most of the time, the portion sizes are what gets us. One of my all time favorite patients EVER was the worst nutritional risk I have ever had. She told me that she only ate one meal a day, but did have one Little Debbie for breakfast. Come to find out it was ONE WHOLE BOX. “One sittin'” is now one my favorite all time quotes. To go along with the exchange list I posted yesterday, here is a list of serving or portion sizes.
Woman's fist or baseball -- a serving of vegetables or fruit is about the size of your fist
A rounded handful -- about one half cup cooked or raw veggies or cut fruit, a piece of fruit, or ½ cup of cooked rice or pasta – this is a good measure for a snack serving, such as chips or pretzels
Deck of cards -- a serving of meat, fish or poultry or the palm of your hand (don't count your fingers!) – for example, one chicken breast, ¼ pound hamburger patty or a medium pork chop
Golf ball or large egg -- one quarter cup of dried fruit or nuts
Tennis ball -- about one half cup of ice cream
Computer mouse -- about the size of a small baked potato
Compact disc -- about the size of one serving of pancake or small waffle
Thumb tip -- about one teaspoon of peanut butter
Six dice -- a serving of cheese
Check book -- a serving of fish (approximately 3 oz.)
Eyeball it! Take a look at the recommended serving sizes on the new USDA MyPyramid Use a measuring cup or a food scale and practice measuring some of your favorite foods onto a plate, so that you can see how much (or how little!) a ½ cup or 3-ounce serving is. This will help you "eyeball" a reasonable serving!
(Google USDA Portions for a more complete list.)
Monday, June 27, 2011
Day 4 Food For Thought: Discovering "Weak" ends
So this first weekend is over and I rediscovered something I learned years ago. There are things we can do to be more healthful, but there are times that is not always easy. Although I had some wins over the weekend, I remembered why weight loss reduction plan is difficult in a practical sense. Sometimes there are fried oreos and lots of good folk to fellowship with while eating them. I am still at the place where I can cut back, but I guess I'm afraid I will miss something. Why? I don't know. I only ate 1 and a half fried oreos when I could have easily eaten lots. I enjoyed it, but I wasn't hungry. I ate it for the experience. Ha Ha! That sounds really funny to say, but it is the truth. For some reason I've allowed food to be a trigger for good memories. It's not that I ate one, it is that I still had a little bit of “I'll be missing something if I don't eat one” in my heart. This is why baby steps are so important. Just keep walking, just keep walking, walking, walking...
One thing for me is to notice the “weak” areas during my day, week, month, etc. I hate to classify things as weakness, so let me reiterate what I mean. I am not making this about right or wrong. I will not put myself under a law. For example, if I had made up this expectation that I could not have a fried oreo or I would be committing a sin, then it would have only strengthened the desire to eat one. I would be dealing with a much heavier weight (condemnation) than the calories of the oreo could produce. So I ate it. I experienced it. But I did not overdo it. I allowed myself to meet me where I am without pressuring myself to DO or BE better, and I am honest with myself with full acceptance of me and without any guilt. I know I am still here in this place, but I will continue to be pleased with who and where I am now. I know my Father, and he will carry me to the next step.
The weak areas I am referring to are the times that illicit choices and behaviors that do not take me where I want to go. I'm not trying to say these are “bad” times. Weekends are a struggle area for me because we are hardly at home. I have logistical issues related to food. We also spend a lot of time with people. I will eat what they eat and do the best I can with myself. I can recognize those areas, and therefore I can balance those times with extra healthfulness during times I have a little more say so. So I'll do the best I can on weekends and I'll choose more healthful stuff weekdays when I am at home. I also have noticed that I start wanting to snack around 3:00 or 4:00 during the day. (I can notice times like this for my boys as well.) I don't have to put myself under a pressure to only eat lunch and wait to supper. If my body is consistently wanting to snack everyday at that time, then I can plan to eat a little something. There is nothing wrong with meeting ourselves where we are. I can have wisdom and be disciplined about it. If I know supper is at 6:00, I will choose something healthful like a piece of fruit or some fresh veggies or something else light and low calories. I don't want to be full when it is supper time because you know what? I will still eat supper. I don't want to ever again physically feel stuffed like I have felt after overeating in the past. ---Like fifty pounds of manure in a five pound bag. (as Wayne likes to say.) I will pay attention to my emotions when I want to snack and it is not meal time. Do I desire to eat because my body is telling me it needs a little something something? Or do I desire to eat because of some emotional reason? Or do I just want chocolate chip cookies at 10:00 at night because I need to go to sleep? Truth is, if I feed my body when my mind in is hungry, I will not be meeting my needs.
Wins for Today:
I ate salad for a meal.
Um...yeah that's about it. Oh well, “weak”end is over.
Nutritional Nugget:
The exchange list is something that we use to help diabetics plan out meals. When you know your needs, you can use this chart to determine your food distribution. It's a helpful tool. If you have any questions or need any help let me know. (See "Day 1" post.)
One thing for me is to notice the “weak” areas during my day, week, month, etc. I hate to classify things as weakness, so let me reiterate what I mean. I am not making this about right or wrong. I will not put myself under a law. For example, if I had made up this expectation that I could not have a fried oreo or I would be committing a sin, then it would have only strengthened the desire to eat one. I would be dealing with a much heavier weight (condemnation) than the calories of the oreo could produce. So I ate it. I experienced it. But I did not overdo it. I allowed myself to meet me where I am without pressuring myself to DO or BE better, and I am honest with myself with full acceptance of me and without any guilt. I know I am still here in this place, but I will continue to be pleased with who and where I am now. I know my Father, and he will carry me to the next step.
The weak areas I am referring to are the times that illicit choices and behaviors that do not take me where I want to go. I'm not trying to say these are “bad” times. Weekends are a struggle area for me because we are hardly at home. I have logistical issues related to food. We also spend a lot of time with people. I will eat what they eat and do the best I can with myself. I can recognize those areas, and therefore I can balance those times with extra healthfulness during times I have a little more say so. So I'll do the best I can on weekends and I'll choose more healthful stuff weekdays when I am at home. I also have noticed that I start wanting to snack around 3:00 or 4:00 during the day. (I can notice times like this for my boys as well.) I don't have to put myself under a pressure to only eat lunch and wait to supper. If my body is consistently wanting to snack everyday at that time, then I can plan to eat a little something. There is nothing wrong with meeting ourselves where we are. I can have wisdom and be disciplined about it. If I know supper is at 6:00, I will choose something healthful like a piece of fruit or some fresh veggies or something else light and low calories. I don't want to be full when it is supper time because you know what? I will still eat supper. I don't want to ever again physically feel stuffed like I have felt after overeating in the past. ---Like fifty pounds of manure in a five pound bag. (as Wayne likes to say.) I will pay attention to my emotions when I want to snack and it is not meal time. Do I desire to eat because my body is telling me it needs a little something something? Or do I desire to eat because of some emotional reason? Or do I just want chocolate chip cookies at 10:00 at night because I need to go to sleep? Truth is, if I feed my body when my mind in is hungry, I will not be meeting my needs.
Wins for Today:
I ate salad for a meal.
Um...yeah that's about it. Oh well, “weak”end is over.
Nutritional Nugget:
The exchange list is something that we use to help diabetics plan out meals. When you know your needs, you can use this chart to determine your food distribution. It's a helpful tool. If you have any questions or need any help let me know. (See "Day 1" post.)
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Day 3 Food For Thought: Effortless Change
I have experienced some heart change. It still feels a bit rocky, like I could slip back into my old nature so I'm careful with myself. I'm consciously making an effort to remind myself that I am worth it. I am paying more attention to my feelings when I am eating and when I am not. I say “No” because I want to, not because I have to. I desire weight loss above food. Being thin doesn't make me better. I am who I am in Christ. I am no longer enslaved to food. I am still walking it out, but I am walking. I''m making better choices physically and mentally and emotionally. I am feeding my body when it is hungry. I'm feeding “bread of life” to my soul when I feel hungry in my soul instead of trying to fill those needs with food. It takes a little bit of awareness to know which “food” I need at the moment. Honestly though, I am discovering that soul food is more satisfying.
I have made better eating choices, but still have more changes I want to make. I can tell that I feel better physically, but I am not feeling like I how I know I want to feel because I haven't made all the practical changes I know it will take to reach it. I refuse to put myself under pressure to behave in even a positive way without first persuading my heart. I'm not going to put myself under a law. I will rest in grace. I'm not going to play tug of war between my will and my heart. Heart will win. We always come back to life at the level of our heart. So I will just enjoy me and be content with me at this very point. I will keep walking and taking my baby steps. Slow and steady wins the race and enjoys the journey a lot more. I don't want to be so focused on the destination that I miss the beauty of this journey. This week, I may not have produced any physical results, but I've been in bondage so long, I'm just enjoying feeling free. If I start to sink back into my old habits, and I remind myself, “I'm worth it, but that old way is not.”
We had Wayne's grandma's 80th birthday party potluck lunch. I only had coffee for breakfast as well as 45 minutes of sleep the night before. I tried a bit of everything, but I recognized that the lack of energy was because I needed sleep and not because my body wanted food. I ate more of the things I loved best. I only had two bites of the awesome cake. I ate strawberry shortcake, but more strawberries than cake. I did drink quite a bit of sweet tea. Mini crab cakes and steamed veggies for supper. Mmmmmmm! I stopped when I got full which meant I only ate 180 calories worth of crab cakes. They were so yummy. I felt good and not stuffed. I wanted to make cookies all day, but not bad enough to feel what I feel like after I eat cookies. Know what I mean? But we had guests and Wayne made them cookies. I ate two. Afteral, I didn't want to be a fuddy! Yeah, yeah.... Day three was not exactly a weight-reduction eating plan day, but it wasstill better choices. I did not feel deprived. I felt satisfied.
Today's Wins:
1.I waited to eat meals until my belly growled.
2.I stopped when I was full.
3.I did not clean my plate.
4.I drank more water.
5.I felt free. Free to eat and free to not eat. That is the biggest win. So much in fact, that I truly know physical weight loss is not my goal. Walking in freedom is. Physical weight loss is the extra little goody and a great benefit to laying down the weight in my heart.
Nutritional Nugget:
Protein. It's one of those things we really need. It does a lot more than just make up our body. It has functions in immunity, hormones, etc. We need it, but not as much as most people think. Protein should only be about 10-35% of the calories you need daily. I will calculate your protein needs if you send me a message (See “Day 1” post.) Protein is found in every food group except fats and fruit. A person who weighs 200 pounds only needs 40 grams or so of protein. One ounce of meat has 7 grams of protein. Therefore, a six-ounce steak will exceed the need providing 42 grams of protein. That doesn't even count the milk, grains and veggies of the day. Excessive protein can be harmful. It's all about balance.
I have made better eating choices, but still have more changes I want to make. I can tell that I feel better physically, but I am not feeling like I how I know I want to feel because I haven't made all the practical changes I know it will take to reach it. I refuse to put myself under pressure to behave in even a positive way without first persuading my heart. I'm not going to put myself under a law. I will rest in grace. I'm not going to play tug of war between my will and my heart. Heart will win. We always come back to life at the level of our heart. So I will just enjoy me and be content with me at this very point. I will keep walking and taking my baby steps. Slow and steady wins the race and enjoys the journey a lot more. I don't want to be so focused on the destination that I miss the beauty of this journey. This week, I may not have produced any physical results, but I've been in bondage so long, I'm just enjoying feeling free. If I start to sink back into my old habits, and I remind myself, “I'm worth it, but that old way is not.”
We had Wayne's grandma's 80th birthday party potluck lunch. I only had coffee for breakfast as well as 45 minutes of sleep the night before. I tried a bit of everything, but I recognized that the lack of energy was because I needed sleep and not because my body wanted food. I ate more of the things I loved best. I only had two bites of the awesome cake. I ate strawberry shortcake, but more strawberries than cake. I did drink quite a bit of sweet tea. Mini crab cakes and steamed veggies for supper. Mmmmmmm! I stopped when I got full which meant I only ate 180 calories worth of crab cakes. They were so yummy. I felt good and not stuffed. I wanted to make cookies all day, but not bad enough to feel what I feel like after I eat cookies. Know what I mean? But we had guests and Wayne made them cookies. I ate two. Afteral, I didn't want to be a fuddy! Yeah, yeah.... Day three was not exactly a weight-reduction eating plan day, but it wasstill better choices. I did not feel deprived. I felt satisfied.
Today's Wins:
1.I waited to eat meals until my belly growled.
2.I stopped when I was full.
3.I did not clean my plate.
4.I drank more water.
5.I felt free. Free to eat and free to not eat. That is the biggest win. So much in fact, that I truly know physical weight loss is not my goal. Walking in freedom is. Physical weight loss is the extra little goody and a great benefit to laying down the weight in my heart.
Nutritional Nugget:
Protein. It's one of those things we really need. It does a lot more than just make up our body. It has functions in immunity, hormones, etc. We need it, but not as much as most people think. Protein should only be about 10-35% of the calories you need daily. I will calculate your protein needs if you send me a message (See “Day 1” post.) Protein is found in every food group except fats and fruit. A person who weighs 200 pounds only needs 40 grams or so of protein. One ounce of meat has 7 grams of protein. Therefore, a six-ounce steak will exceed the need providing 42 grams of protein. That doesn't even count the milk, grains and veggies of the day. Excessive protein can be harmful. It's all about balance.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Day 2 Food For Thought: One Step at a Time
One reason I hesitated so long to begin my weight loss journey is because my goal seems so unreachable. Pondering on how many pounds there are to lose is quite overwhelming. It made me feel discouraged, and I guess I have been afraid of failure. Instead of making steps toward my goal, my I-give-up before I start attitude has caused me to actually gain weight. Boo! Weight loss is not the only area I have noticed myself doing this. When my house is overwhelmingly untidy, I find myself trying to avoid cleaning at all. (I would rather type in my blog or something way more cool than washing dishes and clothes.) I've noticed it even about saving money. I began to see that even if I save a few dollars here and there, before I know it, I have saved quite a bit. I might not get the whole house clean, but I can do a little here and little there and before I know it, it becomes livable. I am carrying that over into my weight loss. I'm not focusing on the number of pounds I need to lose or the calculations that tell me if I do really well that I should get close to my goal in one to two years. All that just overwhelms me. But I can make baby steps. And before I know it, I will have lost physical weight, but more importantly, I will have renewed my mind and refreshed my heart to make this journey effortless and the destination permanent.
My baby step for this week....I want to focus on a more healthful breakfast. Breakfast is important because it jump starts our metabolism. I usually eat breakfast, but I want to get more creative to increase the nutrients. I want to add more fiber, “colors” (phytochemicals,) nuts, seeds, fruit...that sort of thing.
Wins for the day...Um....there are not that many. Yikes!
1) I purposely ate fish today because I have not had it in a while, and it is recommended to get it at least two times a week.
2)Even though I was beyond sleep-deprived, I did not snack on late-night comfort carbs. This is something I have a habit of doing.
3)I drank more water today.
Nutritional Nugget..
How many carbs does a person really need? Carbs get a bad rap, bur really our body needs them. Most foods contain carbs because God was so smart about creating foods to fuel the bodies he sculpted. There is alternative fuels if we don't eat carbs for energy, but these mechanisms are not as efficient and lead to the breakdown of lean body mass. This is not desirable. Appropriate fat loss requires the intake of carbohydrates. There are parts of our bodies that must have carbs to get energy this includes our brain and red blood cells. These cells do not contain the “pieces” to transform proteins into carbs. Of course the best carbs will be the ones God created for us. To determine the recommend amount of carbs, take your calories and divide by 2. That is about how many calories you need to get from carbohydrates. Divide that number by 4 to tell you how many grams of carbs you need to get everyday.
Again, I will gladly calculate your needs for you if you e-mail or message me. (See “Day 1” post.)
My baby step for this week....I want to focus on a more healthful breakfast. Breakfast is important because it jump starts our metabolism. I usually eat breakfast, but I want to get more creative to increase the nutrients. I want to add more fiber, “colors” (phytochemicals,) nuts, seeds, fruit...that sort of thing.
Wins for the day...Um....there are not that many. Yikes!
1) I purposely ate fish today because I have not had it in a while, and it is recommended to get it at least two times a week.
2)Even though I was beyond sleep-deprived, I did not snack on late-night comfort carbs. This is something I have a habit of doing.
3)I drank more water today.
Nutritional Nugget..
How many carbs does a person really need? Carbs get a bad rap, bur really our body needs them. Most foods contain carbs because God was so smart about creating foods to fuel the bodies he sculpted. There is alternative fuels if we don't eat carbs for energy, but these mechanisms are not as efficient and lead to the breakdown of lean body mass. This is not desirable. Appropriate fat loss requires the intake of carbohydrates. There are parts of our bodies that must have carbs to get energy this includes our brain and red blood cells. These cells do not contain the “pieces” to transform proteins into carbs. Of course the best carbs will be the ones God created for us. To determine the recommend amount of carbs, take your calories and divide by 2. That is about how many calories you need to get from carbohydrates. Divide that number by 4 to tell you how many grams of carbs you need to get everyday.
Again, I will gladly calculate your needs for you if you e-mail or message me. (See “Day 1” post.)
Day 1 Food For Thought: Confession Stands
A good friend of mine posted her weight on facebook. Lots of thoughts came to mind when I saw the pounds which were almost a whole other person above what I weigh. If I weighed that number of pounds, I would be feeling quite differently about the weight, but she was very proud of herself. Her boldness taught me some very important lessons. I realized that weight, as with everything else in life, is about perspective. It is not about right and wrong. It is about freedom. It is not about the pounds, it is about our heart in the matter. The truth is that I know she will continue to lose weight effortlessly to reach her goal because she is free. She has the proper attitude about herself and her weight loss. Condemnation and guilt has nothing on her and therefore she can rest in her freedom and contentment with herself. She is free from the bondage of her weight evidenced by her boldness to declare it to her 800 friends on facebook. I am not that free yet.
I have more self condemnation about my weight than anything else in my life. Condemnation forms the chains that bind me. I will never be free from food as long as I feel badly about myself in this area. I believe that is why James 5:16 says to “confess your sins to one another.” I believe that being open about our issues opens the door in our hearts to become free. We build walls in our hearts to protect ourselves. I am embarrassed that I should know better and have helped a number of people to become free when I struggle with the issue myself. There are fears in my heart associated with my weight. Some examples...”I'm afraid of people's opinion and rejection of me.” “I'm afraid my students and patients won't take me seriously if I am not a good role model.” “I am afraid I will be embarrassed.” “I think being overweight makes me less.” The wall I build to protect myself from exposing my issue is the same wall that will not allow Love to come in and clean it out. Perfect love casts out all fears, but it can't come in if I have built a wall and won't open the door. Confession is a tool we can use to open up doors in our walls. It has helped me already and it's only been the first day.
Honestly, I am not free in my heart enough to post my weight, but Father did give me a great excuse. I think that I will post the pounds I lose, but not my current weight because it makes it less likely to get into a comparison attitude. It is not wise or beneficial to compare ourselves. Remember it's all about perspective anyway. If I post an actual number, it makes it easier to justify or belittle ourselves and misunderstand my heart. If I do not post my weight, it seems to become more applicable in hearts. Someone who is anorexic might have the same struggles I do with bondage to food, but the numbers on the scales would make us seem very different and perhaps judge or reject each other even if just slightly. The point is to be free in our hearts, not to rank ourselves. Classifying the severity of our issues usually only compounds the problems and creates more hurdles for us to jump over.
Ok, Ok here goes...For the sake of practicing my freedom, I will post my weight. ###. Oh my goodness! That felt scary to type it out and see it in print! ...Well of course I erased it! But it still did my heart some good. :)
Wins for the day...
I have decided to post the small, positive changes I make each day. I was going to also list the ways to improve but Father/Personal Trainer instructed me not to. It seems he knows me better than I know myself! He told me that if I (because of my personality) focus on the areas for improvement, it will strengthen my weaknesses. He said I will also become too comfortable with my stuff as if I almost brag about my issues which will only hinder this journey. Identifying failures will put myself under laws when there is no law. If I believe I am under a law then there a laws to be broken. Failures = broken laws = condemnation = strengthening my sin = more bondage, less freedom. I will focus on my wins to stay in his perspective of me.
So for example, instead of listing a failure that I ate Mom's chocolate oatmeal cookies, I will list a win:
1.I only ate one and a half of Mom's fresh, hot-off-the-stove, homemade chocolate oatmeal cookies. Eating a cookie is not a “sin.” But if I view it as one, and I make myself avoid things because of expectations in my mind, I see it only as an area where I am deprived. That deprivation spirit makes me do the very thing I don't want to do. But it's a win because the day before I would have eaten them until I was stuffed. Yay for a win!
2. I put mayo on my grilled chicken sandwich for lunch, but then realized I didn't need or even want that extra 100 calories so I scraped off as much as I could. It was still very good and had a little bit of the mayo flavor without all the extra calories.
3.My belly growled....almost twice.
4.I did not eat as much as normal simply because I honestly did not want it. The day before, I would have eaten it just because it was food.
5.I refused a chocolate chip cookie and I did want it, but not bad enough for an extra 350-400 calories. I also did not feel deprived. WIN! WIN!
6.I calculated my weight loss plan. I figured out how many calories I need to lose a steady and slow weight loss as well as how much carbs, protein and fat I need without excess. Which leads me to my tip of the day...
Nutritional Nugget...
You can determine how many calories you need to lose or gain weight effectively and safely. There is actually more to it than this, but just for easy sake, take the amount of pounds you want to weigh and multiply that by 10. This will be your amount of calories in a day. I almost even hate to post that because it is so not that easy, but it can give you an idea. For example, if you desire to weigh 150 pounds, then you multiply that by 10 to get 1500 calories. This doesn't work so well if you have an enormous amount of weight to lose as in 100 pounds or so. Knowing the calories is important because if can help you to make more informed choices. Don't put yourself in a law though. My goodness, if you feel a negative emotion because you think you can't eat that food by all means EAT IT! The deprivation factor is worse than the few extra calories it will have. Just start again the next meal.
A good friend of mine who is very health and weight conscious ate her favorite sandwich everyday in the deli where she worked. This is a girl who only needed about 1500 calories. She found out one day that her favorite sandwich had almost 1,000 calories in it. With chips and a drink, it was well over what she needed. She did not feel deprived, but just knowing that helped her to realize her favorite sandwich was not worth it to her.
If you would like me to calculate your needs for you, shoot me a message on facebook or send me an e-mail. ablaylock@tntech.edu Include your height, current weight (be honest!), your age, and your goal weight. I promise your numbers are safe with me! :)
I have more self condemnation about my weight than anything else in my life. Condemnation forms the chains that bind me. I will never be free from food as long as I feel badly about myself in this area. I believe that is why James 5:16 says to “confess your sins to one another.” I believe that being open about our issues opens the door in our hearts to become free. We build walls in our hearts to protect ourselves. I am embarrassed that I should know better and have helped a number of people to become free when I struggle with the issue myself. There are fears in my heart associated with my weight. Some examples...”I'm afraid of people's opinion and rejection of me.” “I'm afraid my students and patients won't take me seriously if I am not a good role model.” “I am afraid I will be embarrassed.” “I think being overweight makes me less.” The wall I build to protect myself from exposing my issue is the same wall that will not allow Love to come in and clean it out. Perfect love casts out all fears, but it can't come in if I have built a wall and won't open the door. Confession is a tool we can use to open up doors in our walls. It has helped me already and it's only been the first day.
Honestly, I am not free in my heart enough to post my weight, but Father did give me a great excuse. I think that I will post the pounds I lose, but not my current weight because it makes it less likely to get into a comparison attitude. It is not wise or beneficial to compare ourselves. Remember it's all about perspective anyway. If I post an actual number, it makes it easier to justify or belittle ourselves and misunderstand my heart. If I do not post my weight, it seems to become more applicable in hearts. Someone who is anorexic might have the same struggles I do with bondage to food, but the numbers on the scales would make us seem very different and perhaps judge or reject each other even if just slightly. The point is to be free in our hearts, not to rank ourselves. Classifying the severity of our issues usually only compounds the problems and creates more hurdles for us to jump over.
Ok, Ok here goes...For the sake of practicing my freedom, I will post my weight. ###. Oh my goodness! That felt scary to type it out and see it in print! ...Well of course I erased it! But it still did my heart some good. :)
Wins for the day...
I have decided to post the small, positive changes I make each day. I was going to also list the ways to improve but Father/Personal Trainer instructed me not to. It seems he knows me better than I know myself! He told me that if I (because of my personality) focus on the areas for improvement, it will strengthen my weaknesses. He said I will also become too comfortable with my stuff as if I almost brag about my issues which will only hinder this journey. Identifying failures will put myself under laws when there is no law. If I believe I am under a law then there a laws to be broken. Failures = broken laws = condemnation = strengthening my sin = more bondage, less freedom. I will focus on my wins to stay in his perspective of me.
So for example, instead of listing a failure that I ate Mom's chocolate oatmeal cookies, I will list a win:
1.I only ate one and a half of Mom's fresh, hot-off-the-stove, homemade chocolate oatmeal cookies. Eating a cookie is not a “sin.” But if I view it as one, and I make myself avoid things because of expectations in my mind, I see it only as an area where I am deprived. That deprivation spirit makes me do the very thing I don't want to do. But it's a win because the day before I would have eaten them until I was stuffed. Yay for a win!
2. I put mayo on my grilled chicken sandwich for lunch, but then realized I didn't need or even want that extra 100 calories so I scraped off as much as I could. It was still very good and had a little bit of the mayo flavor without all the extra calories.
3.My belly growled....almost twice.
4.I did not eat as much as normal simply because I honestly did not want it. The day before, I would have eaten it just because it was food.
5.I refused a chocolate chip cookie and I did want it, but not bad enough for an extra 350-400 calories. I also did not feel deprived. WIN! WIN!
6.I calculated my weight loss plan. I figured out how many calories I need to lose a steady and slow weight loss as well as how much carbs, protein and fat I need without excess. Which leads me to my tip of the day...
Nutritional Nugget...
You can determine how many calories you need to lose or gain weight effectively and safely. There is actually more to it than this, but just for easy sake, take the amount of pounds you want to weigh and multiply that by 10. This will be your amount of calories in a day. I almost even hate to post that because it is so not that easy, but it can give you an idea. For example, if you desire to weigh 150 pounds, then you multiply that by 10 to get 1500 calories. This doesn't work so well if you have an enormous amount of weight to lose as in 100 pounds or so. Knowing the calories is important because if can help you to make more informed choices. Don't put yourself in a law though. My goodness, if you feel a negative emotion because you think you can't eat that food by all means EAT IT! The deprivation factor is worse than the few extra calories it will have. Just start again the next meal.
A good friend of mine who is very health and weight conscious ate her favorite sandwich everyday in the deli where she worked. This is a girl who only needed about 1500 calories. She found out one day that her favorite sandwich had almost 1,000 calories in it. With chips and a drink, it was well over what she needed. She did not feel deprived, but just knowing that helped her to realize her favorite sandwich was not worth it to her.
If you would like me to calculate your needs for you, shoot me a message on facebook or send me an e-mail. ablaylock@tntech.edu Include your height, current weight (be honest!), your age, and your goal weight. I promise your numbers are safe with me! :)
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Stepping Into The Journey
I created this blog, but have procrastinated this first entry for six months. I've known for years I was to start this blog of my weight loss journey, but something in my heart would not allow me to begin. I'm tired of all the excuses I am giving myself. It is past time to begin. I have a lot to say about the area of nutrition, but I have even more to say about the weight in my heart that manifests itself in my physical body. It is time for me to break out of this bondage of flesh. This is a very personal issue for me. This is the one area I feel like a total failure. I believe the Lord directed me to be open about my journey to encourage others, but mostly I think exposing my heart in this matter will bring freedom to me. I feel like sharing in this journey is exposing my inner most awkward dark places. I've been accused of being a goody-two-shoes most of my life, well, I'm about to be accused of having the nastiest feet ever because those shoes are coming off. There is nothing pretty about the things I intend to share, but I already know the finish line is worth the journey. I invite you to walk with me.
About two years ago, I finally received the grace to lose weight. I gained weight with every diet I ever put myself on so I finally gave this issue to the Lord instead of trying to do it myself. The very first day, I was literally hearing instruction on what I should eat. Most things I heard the Holy Spirit saying to eat was not exactly promoting weight loss. I had to double check that I was even hearing correctly. After about two days of not cutting back at all, I finally asked the Lord “why?” I will never forget his answer. “I just want you to know that you are worth more to me than anything you think you can do to improve yourself.” As soon as I heard that, my heart was transformed to phase two of this “non-diet” plan. A few days later, I picked up something to take a bite and I heard him say, “You are worth more than that food.” That is when I realized I would name my blog, “Worth the Weight.” Every time I would make menu options, I would remember, “I'm worth more than that.” I began to drop weight. After about two weeks, I had effortlessly lost about eleven pounds. After a while I got back into some old habits and started “trying” to lose instead of resting in the grace to lose. I became frustrated with myself. I was driving home after dark one night whining to the Lord about my struggles with weight loss. I must have complained for at least ten miles saying things like, “deliver me from this bondage.” I heard him say as clear as a bell, “Are you done?” I humbly answered, “Yes, Sir.” He said, “ I already have.” The truth is that he already has delivered and done everything there is to do for me to walk in complete freedom. I must become aware of it in my heart. I continued my weight loss, but then I became extremely distracted. I was smacked in the heart by a gigantic load of life. Instead of dealing with the emotions properly, I looked to food for comfort. I have never weighed non-pregnant as much as I do now. I have severe issues associated with my weight. And yes, I will bare all in this blog....well, I will bare most things and eventually I will be free enough to bare all. This will be a blog where the main entree is reducing the weight in my soul and then the physical weight will be dessert.
Let the journey begin...
About two years ago, I finally received the grace to lose weight. I gained weight with every diet I ever put myself on so I finally gave this issue to the Lord instead of trying to do it myself. The very first day, I was literally hearing instruction on what I should eat. Most things I heard the Holy Spirit saying to eat was not exactly promoting weight loss. I had to double check that I was even hearing correctly. After about two days of not cutting back at all, I finally asked the Lord “why?” I will never forget his answer. “I just want you to know that you are worth more to me than anything you think you can do to improve yourself.” As soon as I heard that, my heart was transformed to phase two of this “non-diet” plan. A few days later, I picked up something to take a bite and I heard him say, “You are worth more than that food.” That is when I realized I would name my blog, “Worth the Weight.” Every time I would make menu options, I would remember, “I'm worth more than that.” I began to drop weight. After about two weeks, I had effortlessly lost about eleven pounds. After a while I got back into some old habits and started “trying” to lose instead of resting in the grace to lose. I became frustrated with myself. I was driving home after dark one night whining to the Lord about my struggles with weight loss. I must have complained for at least ten miles saying things like, “deliver me from this bondage.” I heard him say as clear as a bell, “Are you done?” I humbly answered, “Yes, Sir.” He said, “ I already have.” The truth is that he already has delivered and done everything there is to do for me to walk in complete freedom. I must become aware of it in my heart. I continued my weight loss, but then I became extremely distracted. I was smacked in the heart by a gigantic load of life. Instead of dealing with the emotions properly, I looked to food for comfort. I have never weighed non-pregnant as much as I do now. I have severe issues associated with my weight. And yes, I will bare all in this blog....well, I will bare most things and eventually I will be free enough to bare all. This will be a blog where the main entree is reducing the weight in my soul and then the physical weight will be dessert.
Let the journey begin...
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