Stepping Into The Journey

I created this blog, but have procrastinated this first entry for six months. I've known for years I was to start this blog of my weight loss journey, but something in my heart would not allow me to begin. I'm tired of all the excuses I am giving myself. It is past time to begin. I have a lot to say about the area of nutrition, but I have even more to say about the weight in my heart that manifests itself in my physical body. It is time for me to break out of this bondage of flesh. This is a very personal issue for me. This is the one area I feel like a total failure. I believe the Lord directed me to be open about my journey to encourage others, but mostly I think exposing my heart in this matter will bring freedom to me. I feel like sharing in this journey is exposing my inner most awkward dark places. I've been accused of being a goody-two-shoes most of my life, well, I'm about to be accused of having the nastiest feet ever because those shoes are coming off. There is nothing pretty about the things I intend to share, but I already know the finish line is worth the journey. I invite you to walk with me.

About two years ago, I finally received the grace to lose weight. I gained weight with every diet I ever put myself on so I finally gave this issue to the Lord instead of trying to do it myself. The very first day, I was literally hearing instruction on what I should eat. Most things I heard the Holy Spirit saying to eat was not exactly promoting weight loss. I had to double check that I was even hearing correctly. After about two days of not cutting back at all, I finally asked the Lord “why?” I will never forget his answer. “I just want you to know that you are worth more to me than anything you think you can do to improve yourself.” As soon as I heard that, my heart was transformed to phase two of this “non-diet” plan. A few days later, I picked up something to take a bite and I heard him say, “You are worth more than that food.” That is when I realized I would name my blog, “Worth the Weight.” Every time I would make menu options, I would remember, “I'm worth more than that.” I began to drop weight. After about two weeks, I had effortlessly lost about eleven pounds. After a while I got back into some old habits and started “trying” to lose instead of resting in the grace to lose. I became frustrated with myself. I was driving home after dark one night whining to the Lord about my struggles with weight loss. I must have complained for at least ten miles saying things like, “deliver me from this bondage.” I heard him say as clear as a bell, “Are you done?” I humbly answered, “Yes, Sir.” He said, “ I already have.” The truth is that he already has delivered and done everything there is to do for me to walk in complete freedom. I must become aware of it in my heart. I continued my weight loss, but then I became extremely distracted. I was smacked in the heart by a gigantic load of life. Instead of dealing with the emotions properly, I looked to food for comfort. I have never weighed non-pregnant as much as I do now. I have severe issues associated with my weight. And yes, I will bare all in this blog....well, I will bare most things and eventually I will be free enough to bare all. This will be a blog where the main entree is reducing the weight in my soul and then the physical weight will be dessert.

Let the journey begin...