Chocolate Gravy and Hypothyroidism

As a dietitian, I've done quite a bit of one-on-one nutritional counseling with a large majority needing to lose weight.  I wish I had a dollar for every time I heard something like, "Well, my thyroid doesn't produce like it is supposed to."   I ALMOST had to add that to my pet peeve list.  Then one day I found my hair was falling out like crazy.  I was so tired and desired sleep more than eating.  My finger nails became very brittle.  I was nursing at the time, and my supply was really low.  I had a diagnoses of hypothyroidism when I was in college, but was healed of that.  I was familiar with the symptoms so when I recognized them coming back,  I went to see my fabulous doctor.  I found myself telling him, "I'd like my thyroid checked because (insert symptoms here)....and I know people use this as an excuse, but I really am having trouble losing weight."    Turns out that I was indeed very low.  (The TSH number is actually high when you are low.)  Since then I've been able to come off my pills again, but every now and then I wonder, "Is this slow weight loss because my thyroid is hypoactive?"

I recently had a great conversation with someone who is obese and has taken expensive and drastic measure to lose weight.  She lost weight for two years, but now has regained the weight and swears her surgery quit working.  Listening to her talk and describe her weight loss woes was like listening to a recording of me. I might not have taken drastic measures, but it was definitely the same song different verse.  Of course the conversation eventually came around to food.  She planned to go home and make chocolate gravy.   "Mmmmm, Chocolate gravy."  I said.   "That's one of my favorites.  I think that's why my thyroid quit working!" Then we both laughed really hard for a while which I'm sure burned a few calories.

Nutritional Nugget
It is true. A  fat body acts differently than a skinny body.  Our bodies want to be the weight we are.  It is great when you get your body on your side and working efficiently for a healthy weight.  I wish I could take back every time in college I just didn't "feel" like going to work out.  Knowing what I know now, I would have gone and had fun despite the messages my body was trying to distract me with.  Getting regular check ups and labs drawn are important.  Plenty of places do community health fairs where labs might be drawn for cheap or free.  The following are some symptoms of having a low thyroid:

• Fatigue
• Sluggishness
• Increased sensitivity to cold
• Constipation
• Pale, dry skin
• A puffy face
• Hoarse voice
• An elevated blood cholesterol level
• Unexplained weight gain
• Muscle aches, tenderness and stiffness
• Pain, stiffness or swelling in your joints
• Muscle weakness
• Heavier than normal menstrual periods
• Brittle fingernails and hair
• Depression

Info came from  mayoclinic.com

Chocolate Gravy (Because sometimes it is necessary to make every food fit.)
I always remember the recipe as "1, 2, 3, 4."

1 cup of sugar   (yikes!)
2 cups of milk
3 tablespoons of cocoa
4 tablespoons of flour

Mix together dry ingredients, then add the milk.  Stir in a saucepan until it boils and thickens.  Serve over a biscuit. 

Flexing Exercises

Well Hello strangers.  I almost feel awkward like I'm meeting someone for the first time since it has been a while!

It's time again to recover my sight. I was doing so well, enjoying weight loss progress, and increasing my exercise when I got slammed by the summer heat (as in stress.)  Yes, I know that exercising is a big stress reliever, but I had a hard time fitting my exercise "rules" to my crazy schedule the past few months.   Exercise seems to be a big part of my weight loss process although I am convinced that weight loss is about 90% food choices. I have started exercising more consistently again, but I had to change my way of thinking a bit.  This seems a little embarrassing to me, but it is a typical pattern of my life.  I finally figure something out, get a new system, and create new habits then it suddenly doesn't work for me anymore. This happens to me when my thinking muscles become stiffened. I always stretch before I run or walk, but I forget flexibility is important with my thinking.

Did you know there is like 225 ways to wash the dishes?  I heard that somewhere, and hardly can  believe that someone actually did a study on that.  Seems kind of useless, but the point is that there is definitely not just one way to anything. (Bear with me here...) If I only "wash the dishes" one way, then I am missing out on 224 possible experiences.   I've realized now that the reason I "missed" out on so much fun exercising was because I am not flexible.  I had made up my mind that I enjoyed getting up in the morning to walk/run.  I threw in a minute or two of exercise or stretching every time I took a short break.  I walked 15 to 20 minutes of my lunch break.  This worked well for me.  I loved it.  These became my rules.  I became rigid.  I allowed these fabulous habits to create a box labeled "exercise" for me to hide in.    Life suddenly didn't fit into my box, so I didn't either.  My rules quit working so I did too.   I couldn't walk during lunch because the summer heat made me too sweaty.  I NEEDED to get more sleep to do a good job at work, so I stopped getting up so early.  Now I see a little better and have tossed that box into the good ol' fire pit.  I still love to wake up early to run/walk and have plans with my sister to do so tomorrow, but here are some ways I'm thinking outside the box:

• Instead of calling the friend on the phone for a long conversation while I sit on the couch, I just ask her if she wants to join me in a walk and talk then.
• I pack yoga pants and sneakers in the car with me and try to stop somewhere after work for a walk/run before I get home.
• I found a couple of play grounds that are fenced in so I can take my boys to play as I walk/run along the fence.  It's a big treat for them. 
• If I don't have an hour, I usually at least have 15 minutes. 
• "You want to race?" is something I ask my boys more often. 
• I really don't have time to get cleaned up twice, so I try to arrange my day where I can workout at least 15-45 minutes before showering. 
• Dance 3 counts. (It's my favorite.)
• Stretch before I go to bed.

These are just a few ways to incorporate more activity, but the important thing for me is to enjoy it and avoid setting rules that make life rigid and impossible.  I keep imagining myself like grain of wheat just blowing with the wind (or a permeable membrane.)  Just a visual aid that reminds me to stay flexible and flow with life instead of boxing away experiences.

Nutritional Nugget
Somebody asked me today about bread.  I'm for it. Try to choose whole grain. You should always look at the label though.  Grains are such a great way to increase fiber, so I like to choose bread based on the fiber content.  When you think we adults need about 25 grams or more of fiber each day, it is appealing to me to purchase Double Fiber Bread which has five grams per slice.  That is 10 grams per sandwich.  It really seems to be an easy way to boost up the numbers.   I ate a lot of Fiber One cereal when I was a dietetic intern.  It was just one flavor back then.  One RD asked me, "Do you really like to eat that?"  Without thinking I said, "Well, I like it about 10:00 the following day."  She laughed. I was embarrassed, and now I'm announcing it to the world on my blog.

Tipping the Scale

My scale of food choices has been tipped! My desire for health outweighs any other desire causing me to eat. The number one reason for food choice is taste. I like fruit teas, rolls, creamy salads, and cookies right out of the oven. As a dietitian, I love that a moderate and balanced diet makes room for every food to fit. However, I fit these foods into my daily routine until it caused my body not fit into my life. My thinking was thwarted. I habitually ate calories above my need for them. There are many reasons I ate what I ate, but now I’m finding that the emotion for health outweighs any desire to choose calorie-rich foods for taste or otherwise. Yes, there are thoughts that, “I would like to have ____.” But those thoughts have a small voice compared to the excitement that makes health an easy choice. And you know what else? If I really want it, I know I can have it. Suddenly calorie-dense beverages are just not as appealing. Sure I still like the taste, but I do not like how it makes me feel or look after I feed it to my body. Some of my favorite foods are just not worth the calories anymore. I still might have something occasionally, but now I make sure that it fits within my calorie allotment that will still promote weight loss. This feels like LIFE. It feels easy. I’m losing weight faster now. 

Oh and I've lost another four pounds! 

Nutritional Nugget:

Baby it is HOT outside!  I know I've posted several things about water, but these temperatures remind me again.  

This first sign for dehydration is thirst.  Other symptoms include dry sticky mouth, tiredness, headache, constipation, dizziness, light-headedness. If dehydration persists, it could lead to more severe symptoms and even cause heat-stroke.  Make sure you've always got plenty of fluids with you even when you are swimming.  Water and sports drinks are the best for outside activity.  Avoid colas because they bind up water.  Knowing the unhealthy benefits of soft drinks as well as the empty calories they have makes it easy for me to stay away from them especially in this heat. 

DRINK WATER! 

Excercise Excitement

I forgot to post this one last week...

I am driven to exercise by forces that I cannot explain. Although I have had bursts of desires for physical activity at times, never has it been this constant or this much. There seems to be a snowball effect of energy. The more I “move” the more I can’t wait until I get to again. It is getting harder and harder to wait through my rest-up days. It feels like a kid waiting in line for a ride on the roller coaster. Perhaps the most unlike me is getting up EARLY just to go for a walk/run. (Evidence of transformation due to two things: 1. Run/walking. And 2. Waking up to do so.) I chuckle at all the comments regarding marathon runners I’ve made in the past such as, “What kind of idiot would want to train to jog 26 miles for no reason?” Well, now I can’t wait to run my first half marathon I plan to run with my sister in one year. I am in no way close to being ready for it. (Good thing I’m starting now.) I’m not even fit enough to train for it properly. I’m in training to pre-train for the training. Do I think running a marathon will make me a more accomplished person? Do I think I’ll be somebody by completing such a ridiculous task? Do I think all the cool kids run marathons and maybe I’ll fit in with them now? No, No, and No. I desire to run it just because I think it will be fun. Gasp! Can it be that simple? I think not only can it be, but it MUST be in order for it to be real. I get excited thinking about the next time I can squeeze in a walk/run. I find myself doing odd little things throughout the day. When I use the bathroom, I do about 60 seconds of arm exercises. Most recently, I added in 20 minutes of walking during my lunch break the three times a week I get a lunch break. When I learned we were only about a quarter mile from our campground, I hopped out and walked the rest of the way.  (Never mind I was extremely carsick.  I was still excited to have the chance to walk.)  No longer do I have self-imposed rules/expectations on the kind and amount of exercises that are proper for me to promote weight loss. I just do what I want, and every day, I find I’ve added something new. I listen to my body. If my knees are a little too achy, I have wisdom to protect them. I ordered a new pair of squishy work shoes to preserve my “go” muscles and feel better during exercise time. There is no formula, but this is just what LIFE tastes like for me. The magical thing is that delivery of this new motivation only came when I aborted expectations of exercise. (And other lame-brained imaginations of what I should look like.)  Can I confess something? I have a secret desire to teach a fitness class when my body is able. Exciting! The desire to teach a class, run a marathon, and just to be that physically fit still isn’t the primary force driving me to move. I just want to. That’s it. All the other stuff is just extra little goodies. Ahhhhh...Feels so good to be free to be me.

Bread of Life...
So many years I put pressure on myself to live according some man made rules (mine or somebody else.)   "How" I should exercise is only one of the expectations I spent years feeling condemned about.  This is one of the verses that set me free:

2 Corinthians 12:4 “-how he was caught up into Paradise and heard inexpressible words, which it is not lawful for a man to utter.”

When Paul wrote this, he understood better than anybody about the Old Testament Law of Moses.  When he went up to heaven, he heard things there that would be illegal for him to say according to that law.  GLORY!  GLORY!  I realized that the truth of heaven, which IS my reality, is not the man made law and misinterpretations I believed were truth.  I can think of no better practical example than exercising.  I have heard so much information regarding exercise.  I took aerobics in college.  I have taught whole chapters on exercise at TTU.  I know the benefits and “rules” about it.  All the information on what was “right” did not make me want to do it.  It was a law to me.  I was a bit rebellious to it because I thought it was something I had to do to become “right” in the health world. Since I didn’t do what I and others thought I SHOULD do, I felt condemned about it.  If I did start exercising, I would have a false sense of  pride about it.  I thought I was really doing good.  Self righteous about exercise.  Shoowee.  But then I would stop and the condemnation would come again. Now I SEE the TRUTH of heaven of who I am, and it literally makes me want to run.  Woooo….Think I will right now.  (Just ‘cause I want to.)

Nutritional Nugget
Water….zero calories and one of the six nutrient classes.  I drink water all the time now.  I think maybe in the last two weeks I have 2 or 3 beverages besides water (and coffee).   There was a time when I hated the fact I needed water.  I had a little taste aversion to it from being sick when I was pregnant, but more than that I thought it was the thing I had to do.  Now I drink it all the time because I desire it.  I love it with lemon.  I love it with cucumbers.  I love it with mint leaves.  When I think I want a little something late at night, I choose water instead of a comfort carb.  I only do this because I want to.  Our bodies are mostly made of water.  I love the way I feel after drinking only water.  I love knowing it helps to flush out toxins from my body.  I love that the lack of calories mean I can eat more of other things I enjoy.  Water taste better to me now than any fruit tea drink that used to be my favorite.  Thankful for this transformation to health in me. 

...Hey! This reminds me of somebody!

"Scoth and water.  Hold the scotch." ----Water Boy

  

The Weight Loss Dream

The night before last I dreamed I woke up and as I was getting dressed for the day, I realized I had lost a huge amount of weight. I had no idea that the weight was gone until I looked down at myself and my belly was not there. The dream was so real, that when I woke up in real life this morning, I thought the weight was gone to the point that I didn’t even check to see. I only noticed I still had my belly as I was getting dressed for my day. What amazed me the most in my dream is my mild emotional reaction to the weight loss. I felt more curious than happy. The same sort of reaction I would imagine I would have hearing the news that a past acquaintance bought a new car. “I’m happy about this, but the news affects me little.” The second thing that I ponder about my dream is how effortlessly the weight disappeared. I literally saw myself wake up unaware I had lost the weight I was sure I carried the night before.

I love dreams…especially this one. I believe this is a picture of what really is happening on the inside of me right now. I'm waking up.  Then without effort or surprise, I find I really am the way I always meant to be.

FLOG:

Much-needed Sissy coffee.

Chocolate Health Shake for a quick breakfast with 5 grams of fiber.

Water Water Water

Lunch at work:

Fabulous chicken stir-fry on 1/3 cup of noodles

Roll

¼ cup of a low calorie Oreo pudding. (Yes, I realize I said “oreo” and “low calorie” in the same sentence.)

Snack:

Apple (I was starting to wilt.)

Frappacino. (Yes it had 180 calories, but I’ve never had one and wanted to try it, and NEEDED the boost to help me finish my work day.)

Supper:

Grilled Pork Tenderloin made by the Fabulous Wayne Blaylock.

Grilled Corn

Baked Potato with salt and pepper only.

Perfectly roasted marshmallows roasted by the Fabulous Mr. Blaylock and the only person I know who can cook 'em like that. 

(Sigh) and I ate a s'more.  Wished I wouldn't have. It wasn't worth the calories.  I made it myself instead of having Wayne make it.    

Daily Bread:

“Agape”-----I’ve always heard that to mean a God-kind of love incapable of our understanding. A.k.a loved A LOT. Now I understand it to further be the expression for a contented love for us where our creator sees no need to add anything else to us. He loves us right where we are. No need to add anything! A love that causes him to lose his breath. An unconditional, perfect love of his perfection.

Can you believe that? Can you believe that the God in heaven sees no need to add anything else to you? This may be the biggest, (and most difficult,) revelation to produce “change” such as weight loss in a person whose weight is deeper than just a lack of practical knowledge of nutrition. (Words are tricky here, I know. It’s just so hard to transmit revelation into English!) This way of thinking is so contrary to the world’s way of thinking. I’m glad His thoughts are higher than our thoughts! I’ve never had so much fun than to understand that living in God’s kingdom is opposite world. This makes me feel like a kid again playing in a perfect imaginary world, except this is reality! Wow! An understanding that YOU are perfect the way you are awakens you to the truth about reality. Your heart produces in the physical what it believes on the inside. See yourself the way HE sees you and transformation happens “overnight” ----just like my dream! Chew on this and be transformed. Lawd have mercy, I hope you catch this with your heart!

Nutritional Nugget:

Well, it seems like common sense, but it bears repeating…The best food of choice for you would most definitely be the foods that are closest to the way God made them. The less processed, the better. Although as a dietitian, I am trained to make every food (approved by the FDA) fit into a daily food plan, there are some things, I personally shy away from. For example, I would rather just go ahead and have the calories that come with real sugar instead of the artificial sweeteners that are technically okay. I would eat it if I had too, but if given the choice, I will choose the foods with the least about chemical processes.

The Rest Stop

It's been a while.  I stepped to a little rest area on the side of my journey for almost two months for no real reason.  It was just that there was no emotion driving to me to post in my blog.  It's not that I didn't want to.  It is more that it felt right to not work anything up.  

I'm very thankful for this blog.  "Worth The Weight"  has been an all-purpose tool for not only my weight loss journey, but unexpectedly all areas in my life. It seems I had a lot of cleaning up to do.  I have met myself on this little path. (Is this what they call, "Serendipity?"  Good things you find on your journey as you travel to something else?)  I pulled off to enjoy the scenery a bit.  What seems to the "naked" eye to have been no progression, is actually the biggest hurdle conquered, and I can't WAIT to write about it in my next several posts.

I have a dear friend who travels a similar journey. When we speak about our experiences, I find we are on the same path together.  (Road trips are always more fun with a friend.)  It was during a recent conversation with her that a heart-thought spilled out. I realized this break from my blog was a necessary part of my journey.  I know it sounds strange, but I was actually dependent on posting for a while. I had even made this something I expect from myself. It's those subtle expectations that drove my craving for calories. This blog has served as my personal counselor for healing my heart in regard to food, fat, and scads of deeper issues that I didn't know I had. But this break from it symbolizes the end of obligation, and the beginning of a new perspective on this path. I'm learning a bit about marathon running.  (More on this later.)  One important thing I learned is that when the training makes room for stops, it is vital to rest to heal up.  This break in the training makes it possible to finish the race!

Everything looks and feels so simple.  I can see the finish line so clearly it feels I already am there.  When I began this journey, I really didn't know what I was getting into.  With each step I began to see more clearly how my physical weight was merely a reflection of the mess I was on the inside.  In particularly, who I thought I was "supposed" to be.  At home, I am a better housekeeper when my closets are clean and drawers organized.   Apparently this is exactly the same way with my body. For years  I tried to clean myself up to no avail without  organizing the closets first. This blog thus far as been a process of shedding light where I didn't even know dust bunnies could hide.  I had no idea how much cleaning I needed to do.  Don't get me wrong.  I've kept up maintenance on the outside.  I've been practical.  I've not gained weight.  I've even lost a little bit, but it has been very slow.  The great thing about spring cleaning is the newness of life with the beginning season.  It's more than just knocking down some cobwebs.  The winter is gone.  Sure the cleaning is not always sunshine and rainbows, but the hope of spring and the expectation of life that follows makes it feel worth it. The revelations I get about myself are just deeper impressions of the same truths I've experienced.  Every time I step into another one,  it feels new because it is deeper and settles more permanently in my heart.  I'm continually amazed at the intense simplicity of it all.  It makes me chuckle how complicated I always seemed to make it.  It really is as easy as floating down a river. (---That's how God said it would be.)  For the first time, I can say with confidence that I've got my "closet" cleaned out.  No more maintenance as usual.  My body is fixing to reflect again what is going on on the inside.  Skinny lives here.

Food Log = FLOG
Breakfast:
180 calories and 5 grams of fiber worth of chocolate shake.
Water. Water. Water.
Lunch at work:
3oz grilled hamburger on a bun with lots of lettuce, pickles, about 1/2 teaspoon of mayonnaise.
1/4 cup of slaw.
a few bites of baked beans
1/2 of a small chocolate chip cookie. (Just enough for me to decide the whole thing wasn't worth it.)
 -Portion sizes were the key for me at lunch.

I made a mistake and let myself get too hungry before supper.

Supper:
1 small baked potato.
3 oz hamburger steak.
Large salad with 2 tablespoons of creamy dressing.
Bites of pudding and orange salad.

Even though I watched my portions and didn't really overeat calories, I still think I got too full.  I blame this on the Incredible Hulk that produced from feeling too hungry before supper.  "BACK OFF I'M STARVING."

Daily Bread:
More important than nutritional knowledge is  the revelation of who I really am.  This is the most important nourishment of the day.


When Jesus was in the desert being tempted, the devil came to him and said, "If you are a son of God, turn these stones into bread."  Jesus answered, "Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God." (Matthew 4:3-4)  Without getting too preachy preachy, let me just say:  

Jesus IS the word of God, and also the bread of life.

Stones = law.  (Moses was given the written law (10 commandments) on stone.

Satan was trying to get Jesus to "prove it."  "Do something to become."  I am beginning to believe this is really the only temptation there is.  Jesus already knew who his daddy was, therefore, he was secure enough to not prove it.

For crying out loud.  I'm a dietitian.  It has been a booger to silence those thoughts in my head that "If I want to become better, then I'll lose weight."  Because if anyone should know better, it should be me, right?  Whew!  Glad I'm over that!   If there were step by step instructions on how to run this race, I would say the first would be to be confident in who you are so much so that you don't have to do anything to prove it. This is a fantastic truth that literally changed my life.

Chew on this....More than just knowing the word from God's mouth, you can experience him by just tuning in and waking up to his presence on the inside of you!  The deeper you understand this powerful truth, the more confident you will feel you don't have to prove anything.  You already are.  Don't listen to voices that tell you that you will be better if you _____(fill in the blank.) 

Nutritional Nugget:
I can't wait to make this little recipe again.....

Spaghetti Squash Marinara
Prep 20 minutes. Bake 30 minutes.

1 medium spaghetti squash (2 1/2 to 3 pounds.)
1/4 cup chopped onion
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 tablespoon cooking oil
1 16-oz can tomatoes, cut up
1 teaspoon dried Italian seasoning, crushed
1/8 teaspoon fennel seed, crushed (optional)
Grated Parmesan Cheese (optional)

1. Halve squash lengthwise. Scoop out seeds. Place squash, cut sides down, in a large baking dish. Using a fork, prick the skin all over. Bake in a 350 degree oven for 30-40 minutes or till tender.
2. For sauce, cook onion and garlic in hot oil until onion is tender. Stir in the undrained tomatoes, Italian seasoning, fennel seed (if desired), and 1/4 teaspoon each salt and pepper. Bring to boiling. Reduce heat. Simmer uncovered for 10-15 minutes or to desired consistency, stirring often.
3. To serve, remove the squash pulp from shell by carefully raking the stringy squash pulp from the shell with a fork. It will continue to come as you scrape. Separate the strands so that it looks like spaghetti. Spoon the sauce over squash. Sprinkle with grated Parmesan cheese if desired.

Makes 6 servings. 80 calories per serving using oil. 3 grams fat. 236 mg sodium, 3 g fiber, 1 gram protein, loads of vitamins.

Laying Out The Plan

For years I've figured out I like life (well,at least mornings) better if I lay out my clothes the night before. This is an effortless thing for me that makes me happy and sets the tone for my day. I decided that I will "lay out" my food from now on just like I lay my clothes each night before I go to bed. If I plan what I am going to eat before hand then I am more likely to choose more nutritious things instead of a quick fix that keeps the ol' flab manifesting. Last night I planned for Bare Naked granola with skim milk for breakfast this morning. I also got up 15 minutes earlier and enjoyed having a few minutes of quiet (except for the crunching of granola) to gather my thoughts for the day. It was nice. I planned mixed nuts for the much-needed snack after lunch wears off because it's a MUFA (Monounsaturated fatty acid.) MUFA's are supposedly research's good fat that helps eliminate squish around the belly. I measured my waste, and want to eat a MUFA at nearly every meal for a month as part of my own little science experiment. It's a good thing I love MUFAs. Effortless health. I always eat lunch at work because quality control is part of my job, but I purposely ate less so I could have my nutty MUFA snack. Last night I also "looked" some beans for Wayne so he had pintos and cornbread ready when I got home. It made the day less stressful, more efficient, and more healthful knowing what we would eat today. Good day that began with a plan.

..."And I love it when a plan comes together."

Nutritional Nugget:
MUFAs are FAB! Dark Chocolate, Olives, Olive Oil, Nuts, Seeds, and Avacados. YUM! I'll take a MUFA! The thing is that MUFAs are fat so they are higher in calories. I'm trying to stay around 400 calories including the MUFA at each meal and a snack. Calories add up fast, so to compensate for the calories and still get full, I'm trying to increase my fiber. My carbs/fiber are whole grains, beans, whole fruits and lots more veggies. I like all these flavors a lot, but even more than that, I love how they make me feels after I eat them. Girl's gotta eat!